
Show Notes
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What if the most meaningful thing you ever did wasn't whatmade you famous, but who you showed up for when nobody was watching?
What if the key to getting unstuck isn't adding more to yourlife, but having the courage to quit something on a Thursday?
Bob Goff — NYT bestselling author, founder of Love Does, andhonorary consul to Uganda — joins Miles Adcox for one of the most honest conversations in Human School history. These two have traveled conflict zones together, worked with San Quentin, and called each other in the gutted middle-of-the-night moments real friendships are made of.
Bob opens up about walking away from law, stepping back fromspeaking, and handing over the nonprofit, he literally wrote the book on. He shares the four lies he tells himself daily and why naming them changed everything. He tells the story of Kabi — a Ugandan witch doctor convicted of child sacrifice — whom Bob prosecuted, befriended on death row, and watched transform an entire prison. They go deep on finding your "eight," the epidemic of loneliness, and why so many of us are surrounded by acquaintances but starving for real friendship.
In this conversation, you'll learn: How to Use Context to Replace Judgment Before It Costs You a Relationship How to Know the Difference Between Self-Aware andSelf-Absorbed How to Find Your Eight and Stop Mistaking Acquaintances for Friends How to Quit Something Every Thursday and Why It's the Most Freeing Practice How to Stop Freeze-Framing People in Their Worst Moment How to Replace "How Are You" with a Question ThatOpens a Door How to Recognize Your Tells and What They're ReallyProtecting How to Catch Someone on the Bounce After the Crater How to Connect Your Why Before You Make the Move How to Show Up for the Hard-to-Love Without an Agenda
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What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Meet Bob Goff 00:05:04 What San Quentin Taught Him About Context andJudgment 00:07:24 17 Counts of Armed Robbery, an Xbox, and $1,100Total Haul 00:11:44 Knowing Your Tells 00:12:11 Guide vs. Sherpa: How Onsite Does It Differently 00:13:17 Self-Aware vs. Self-Absorbed 00:15:57 Choosing to Be Misunderstood 00:22:03 A Hot Pink Castle and Grandparents Who Were NutsAbout Him 00:23:41 Stop Asking “How Are You?” 00:28:52 The Loneliness Epidemic 00:30:59 The Polaroid Problem —Hesitating to Make the Call 00:36:50 Your “Eight” Relationships 00:37:56 Four Lies Bob Tells Himself and the Audit ThatExposes Them 00:44:58 Setbacks Aren't Campsites 00:45:36 Quitting His Own Law Firm Without Explanation 00:46:10 Quit Something Every Thursday 00:58:45 12 Daily Disneyland Tickets and What They Reveal 01:05:19 If Your Brain Can See Itself, It Can Heal Itself 01:10:33 How Bob Got Six Giraffes from a President 01:19:30 Catching People on the Bounce 01:25:32 The Story of Kabi 01:35:30 The Most Surprising Thing About Great Friendship
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