Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

The Lie Women Were Taught About Sex and Marriage

Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

Show Notes

What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure? In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood. Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom. A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame. 🎧 Listen now and join the conversation. 00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter 00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma 01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color 03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education 05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality 09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships 10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration 12:45 The Importance of Orgasms 15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom 17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong 20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality 22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color 25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality 27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions 31:37 Ending the Cycle of Shame Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber. You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year. I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

More from Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

Oct 22, 2026

What I Discussed With Caroline Hood - Why couples need to stay connected as lovers as well as parents. - How motherhood can affect desire, identity and intimacy. - Why women's desire may not disappear but simply get pushed aside. - What happens when you're "touched out" from caregiving. - How ageing and changing bodies can affect sexual confidence. - Why communication matters when a couple's sexual dynamic changes. - How women can reconnect with their sexual selves.

Oct 15, 2026

What I Discussed With Gaylen Wilson - How erectile dysfunction changed Gaylen's sex life and marriage. - Why he believes men should take ED seriously rather than ignore it. - How couples can stay connected when erections become unreliable. - Why intimacy doesn't have to be centred around performance. - How shame and withdrawal can damage relationships. - The connection between ED, attachment and fight-or-flight. - How Gaylen and Heather developed the Monument Method. - Why lifestyle, fitness and overall health still matter.

Oct 8, 2026

What I Discussed With Rockne O'Leary - How fitness can affect sexual performance, confidence and overall health. - Why strength training and consistency become even more important as we age. - How to start exercising again when you've been out of the gym for years. - The connection between fitness, stress, lifestyle and sexual health. - Why men need places where they can talk honestly about relationships and life. - How Rockne's men's group is trying to create a space without judgment, including eventually bringing younger and older men together.

Oct 1, 2026

What I Discussed With Dr. Maria Sophocles - Why sexual burnout can happen in midlife. - What menopause changes physically and sexually. - Vaginal estrogen and why it can help. - Spontaneous vs. receptive desire. - The five M's for reconnecting with sexuality. - Testosterone, “scream cream” and newer treatments for female sexual arousal. - How GLP-1 medications may affect libido and sexual health. - Practical ways to reconnect with sex and pleasure.

Sep 24, 2026

What I Discussed With Dr. Justin Lehmiller - How men's sexual health and desire can change as they get older. - Why erectile difficulties become more common with age and where Viagra fits in. - Why sex toys can be useful for men and how to choose the right kind of stimulation. - How to introduce sex toys into a relationship without making things awkward. - What penis pumps can do for erectile difficulties and sexual function. - Why masturbation and orgasm may have benefits beyond sexual pleasure.

See all episodes →