Show Notes
Melvin Lopez is autistic. So is his five year old son, Mateo. And the first thing Melvin does in this conversation is take apart the assumption that those two facts give them something in common.
"If you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism." That is a saying in his house.
He talks about a day that starts at 4:30 in the morning because his son does not sleep. Not up and getting ready. Up and fully charged. He talks about fighting his own autism at the exact moment he is trying to parent his son's. And he gives the best description of coping skills I have heard in a long time, which is that nobody buys a good tool for the garage hoping to use it every day, because using it every day means something is always broken.
Then I asked him the question this series is named after. Do you feel seen and heard?
He said, "I feel like I'm tolerated."
He was just as honest about the autism community as he was about everyone outside it. That is why I wanted this one out.
Melvin lives in Clarksville, Tennessee, with his wife and their four children. He was diagnosed autistic as an adult, at Level 2, and has a background in the military. His son Mateo is five, is also Level 2, is in kindergarten, and is in ABA therapy.
Level 2 is the designation that reads "requires substantial support." Melvin served, he works, and he is raising four kids. Both of those things are true at the same time, and that is most of what this episode is about.
SPONSOR
Thanks to Lovebug Probiotics for supporting this episode. Probiotics by age, from babies through adults, focused on digestive and immune support. Go to lovebug.com and use code THEAUTISMDAD20 for 20% off.
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
ABOUT SEEN AND HEARD
Seen and Heard is a short series from The Autism Dad Podcast. Real families get about fifteen minutes to describe their actual lives, in their own words, without anyone smoothing it out for them.
MY BOOK
So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism: Real Talk, Support, and Next Steps from a Dad Who's Been There is out December 29, 2026 from Fair Winds Press. If your child has just been diagnosed with autism, this is your compassionate first step guide from someone who has lived it. Preorder at theautismdad.com/book
MORE FROM ME
Everything I do lives at theautismdad.com. More Seen and Heard episodes at listen.theautismdad.com
Melvin does not have public social accounts, so there is nothing to tag.
More from The Autism Dad
This episode is presented by Mightier.
Stephanie Kerns was a teacher before she was an autism mom, and the only autism she had seen up close was in boys. So when her daughter started putting sponges in her mouth and echoing every question back in the exact tone it was asked, the first read was a speech delay.
This episode is presented by Mightier.
This episode is sponsored by PESI. Nicole Carbone's son Luca is almost four, nonspeaking, and diagnosed with Level 2 autism. When he can't tell her what he needs, he bangs his head on whatever is closest. His pain tolerance is high enough that the thing strangers always say, that he'll stop before he really hurts himself, is just not true. In this Seen and Heard conversation, Nicole talks about the communication barrier underneath the self injury, the AAC device she hopes will ease it, and what it was like to separate her twins into different preschools so Luca could get what he needed. She also talks about the best 40 seconds of her life so far, the day he looked right at her and said "hi mommy" for the first time, and she got it on video. Then there's the part aimed at the rest of us. A stranger at the park watched Luca hum and asked her if he ever shuts that motor off. And inside the autism community, Nicole says the hardest thing about a Level 2 diagnosis is not the diagnosis. It's the comparing. Her advice is blunt and it applies to every level: don't compare your kid to any other kid. Nicole is the founder and president of The NEST Project, a nonprofit serving families in Pennsylvania and Ohio that buys what insurance won't cover for kids with special needs. Find them at nestcares.org. SPONSORThis episode is sponsored by PESI. Their 2026 Kids and Teens Autism Symposium runs November 18 and 19, online, and it is neuro-affirming the whole way through. There is a full session on demand avoidance, for every kid who got called defiant when it was really their nervous system, and another on kids who mask so well they get treated for anxiety instead of what is actually going on. Two hundred dollars for both days, up to 18 CE hours, and a 30 day replay if you cannot be there live. Built for clinicians, and parents can register too. pesi.com/theautismdad Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, comes out December 29, 2026. Preorder at theautismdad.com/book.
Dr. Theoharis Theoharides is back, and this time we got into the stuff that has been all over the news. Leucovorin. Tylenol. Benadryl. Underneath the headlines there is actual science, and Dr. Theo walks through what inflammation, mast cells, and folate really have to do with our kids.