Show Notes
Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.
Masha explains somatic experiencing and titration in plain terms, how to stop ruminating and overthinking, and why building stability in your whole life matters more than any quick trick for calming anxiety. If you're dealing with anxious attachment, a painful breakup, emotional triggers, or healing from childhood patterns, this episode gives you real tools for healing trauma, feeling safe in your body, and building healthier relationships.
Come see me on tour! https://sabrinazohar.com/tour
Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"
Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book
Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
Product of the week! https://go.shopmy.us/p-90981579?s=sl1_pl1_cpl
Get Ad free HERE!
Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Join Masha's course Befriend, an 8-week self-paced foundations course on the nervous system. Listeners can use code SABRINA for $100 off
SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!
Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at tumbleliving.com/SABRINA #Tumble #ad
Chapters:
00:00 Nervous System Regulation Myths
05:16 What Dysregulation Really Looks Like
10:44 Why Love Isn't Enough in Relationships
16:43 Healing Your Whole Life, Not Just Dating
22:27 Feeling Safe Around Difficult Family
27:08 Somatic Experiencing Explained
33:11 Titration: Why Slow Healing Works
38:38 Are You Really Doing the Work?
43:34 How to Handle Triggers in Dating
50:20 Avoidant Attachment and Overthinking
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from The Sabrina Zohar Show
Why do you keep checking if they watched your story, waiting for your ex to text, or feeling bored the moment someone is actually good to you? In this science-heavy episode, Sabrina breaks down the neuroscience of attachment and repeating relationship patterns: why your brain gets hooked on hot and cold people like a slot machine, why healthy relationships can feel boring, why you can’t get over your ex, and why you self-sabotage the moment you get what you wanted.
It’s pub day for Why Am I Like This?, and Sabrina’s mom Helly joins the show to talk honestly about Sabrina’s old dating patterns: texting nonstop, chasing emotionally unavailable men, people pleasing, and losing herself trying to make someone love her. Helly shares the advice she gave Sabrina for years, like “be careful what you wish for” and “you have to love yourself more than you need to be loved,” and explains why choosing yourself is where real change starts.
Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't heal anxious attachment, how childhood patterns follow you into dating and relationships, and what Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation study shows about anxious and avoidant attachment: avoidants feel the panic too, they just hide it.
How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do during and after a breakup, from why no contact matters (and why it shouldn't be used to make your ex miss you) to how to handle the urge to text your ex, stop ruminating, and accept that closure is a decision you make, even when you never get the conversation. She also covers processing anger and grief, moving on from someone who broke up with you months ago, staying civil with an ex you work with or co-parent with, and seeing your ex on dating apps.
The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries and non-negotiables, watch for reciprocity and consistency, and stop falling for potential and breadcrumbs.