Show Notes
When you devour a book because you find it hard to put down, it’s a sign that it’s a bloody good one. When you can’t wait to share and chat about it, it’s a sign that it has resonated with you deeply. That’s the impact Mind Your Body: A Revolutionary Programme to Release Chronic Pain and Anxiety, had on Erica and why we chose to chat about it on the podcast. It’s a book you simply must know about! "Pain is an invitation to recognise the inner truths that have been waiting for our acknowledgment like shame, grief and suppressed emotions…Understanding common traumas in order to uncover the depth of your pain.” Nicole J Sachs from her book, Mind Your Body.
Erica and I talk about various aspects of the book that caught her attention and expand on those with curiosity and deeper conversation: :: TMS (Tension Myositis Syndrome, also called Tension Myoneural Syndrome or “mind–body syndrome”. The foundation for Nicole’s work, based on the mind–body model of chronic pain proposed by rehabilitation physician John Sarno. :: The Pain we feel is real - it’s not in your head. We all know this to be true when we’re stressed, we feel the tension in our body somewhere. Erica as a councilor and somatic practitioner sees this every week in clinic and supports easing that stress with exploratory movement and awareness. A mind body connection. :: The Stress Loop - when we harbour emotions that have no where to go. What does that look and feel like? :: It’s Counter-Cultural - to feel and express emotions. We are taught and encouraged to suppress them - to keep calm and carry on. What a load of BS. :: So Where Does The Physiological Response Go? The shame we feel and ignore. The anger we find hard to express in a way that is true to how we’re feeling. The fear we hold buried deep within; from our childhood and in our adult life. The multitude of difficult emotions we shut down. Where do they show up in our body? We talk about how Mind-Body Medicine is challenging those practices, urging us to pay attention and with curiosity, explore those emotions in order to relieve the pain we feel in our body. :: The Importance of Self-Compassion - It’s human to feel this way. Those difficult emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. It’s all part of being human. We need to acknowledge that and meet ourselves and others with kindness with a hefty dose of self-compassion. The key ingredient to meeting our inner truth as we explore with an open heart and curiosity what those feelings are and mean. :: Holding Opposing Emotions Simultaneously - like both fear and love at the same time. It’s challenging. It’s hard. :: The power of using AND instead of BUT in sentences and thoughts, as we excavate and acknowledge emotions. ‘But’ disarms and excuses. ‘And’ empowers us, validating our experience. :: More Gaps We Need To Fill - to advocate for ourselves when the traditional medical model and solutions don’t provide the answers we need to solve our pain problems. Erica stresses that Nicole is not dismissing the need to search for answers by having medical tests and investigations. Quite the opposite, they are and we must. But if the findings are not clear or if they are absent, then that is potentially a gap to fill with Mind-Body Medicine. Explore it with curiosity and advocate for you if this is your situation. :: A Way Forward: Exploring the Hidden Truth - Using Nicole’s Journal Speaking framework. “The pain is not in your head. But the solution is not in your body.” :: Add This To Your Toolkit - Mind Body Medicine and Journal Speaking as a part of your tool kit. Not a panacea on its own, rather an additional tool to support and help your pain and healing as you navigate being human. At a time when we need this more than ever. In a world of increasing global tensions and fear. For ourselves. For each other. Erica plans to Journal Speak. We might do a part 2 and find out how she found it. Stay tuned :)
A big thank you to everyone who tuned into our live video! And a
More from Midlife Unfiltered: The Season Of Me
In this honest conversation, pelvic and sexual health physiotherapist Lisa Fitzpatrick draws on 30+ years of clinical experience and her own heartbreak to explain menopause and sex, vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and reclaiming pleasure in midlife. We call out myths and bring truth to misconceptions; the silences surrounding women’s sexual health as we age. Silence that breeds shame and holds women captive in their own minds and bodies. Clinically, we explore the genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), why pelvic floor relaxation matters as much as strengthening, vaginal moisturisers and lubricants, local oestrogen, and why ‘use it or lose it’ applies to pelvic health. Emotionally, we talk about shame, nervous system safety, identity, desire, relationships and the role of connection and self-trust in thriving after menopause. Whether you are navigating menopause yourself, supporting a partner, or simply want to understand women’s sexual health in midlife, this episode offers compassionate, practical insight.
In midlife the changes are BIG. The rate of those divorcing over the age of 50 is at an all time high. Increasingly too, the ‘relationships’ we have with AI are becoming deeper and wider in application and in frequency. When it comes to Grey Divorce, AI’s role is also deepening, some may say becoming a dependence. As much as those conversations about your divorce, your relationship, your marriage you may be having with Claude, Chat GPT (name your preferred AI) seem helpful, they do come with certain risks you may not be aware of. That’s the focus of this podcast chat. Not to scare, to inform. For awareness. I sat down with Kiki Hart (aka Louise Cooper). Louise is a lawyer, accredited mediator, and someone who’s been through a divorce herself, to unpack where midlife, divorce and artificial intelligence are all colliding at once. I came away with a lot to think about, and I suspect you will too. In this episode… Grey divorce is real, and it’s us Kiki lead the conversation with some stats around divorce trends here in Australia (which are not that dissimilar to those in the US and elsewhere). Whilst divorce rates have remained reasonably steady overall it’s the divorces involving marriages of 20 years or more that have proportionally risen 20% in Australia since the 1980s. The shift is happening at the 50-plus stage of life. Some of the numbers we discussed: * Median age at divorce in Australia in 2025: 47.3 for men, 44.4 for women * 29% of Australian divorces are now ‘grey divorces’ (people 50+) * In the US, the rate of over-50s divorcing roughly doubled between 1990 and 2010. * Overall divorce rates are sitting near their lowest since the mid-1970s - it’s specifically midlife driving the trend upward, not divorce in general
Squash is often called the world’s healthiest sport. In this episode of the Midlife Unfiltered podcast my squash coach Caleb Johnson joins me to unpack why. I also share my own return to the game after 30 years. Squash is on the rise again. Is it for you? The ball’s in your court 🙂 In this episode we talk about: * Caleb – as an Australian professional squash player, squash and fitness coach, runs a junior academy and squash advocate. * What makes squash different from most racquet sports - it has no net that separates players (for starters) and the benefits of that. * Racquet sports – in order of popularity * A brief history of squash and its evolution – the popular years and its rapid decline * Squash as an inclusion in the 2028 LA Olympics – and its rise again. * The health benefits of racquet sports in general * The physical health benefits of squash specifically: high calories burned (600–1,000 calories/hour), cardio challenging, muscles and bone benefits from multi-movements and multi-directional impacts – without the level of injury of other forms of sport * Tarek Momen vs. Rafael Nadal: a wild real-world comparison of match intensity – how tennis and squash compare. Not to knock tennis (we both love tennis) but to highlight the differences and impacts on health. * High intensity, ‘interval training’ nature of the sport PLUS endurance. * Brain and neural health benefits – squash is called ‘chess on legs’ – split second decision making and anticipation of where the ball is going next and where to place it. * Caleb shares a personal story about his friend with 7% vision who restored vision. through playing squash – he’s hoping it will be studied in the future. * Bone & Muscle health – how it helps our bones and muscles (and the study that shows this) * The ease to integrate it into life – doesn’t take up much time, can practice on your own (no balls to chase on the other side of the net!), build skills, play socially, competitively and it’s inexpensive. * Squash’s Olympic debut at LA 2028, and what it means for the sport’s future * The sport everyone’s Dad used to play – now it’s on the rise again. * How to start playing squash – as a new sport; * How to get back into squash again – the mind-body gap, and how to do it safely – people like me coming back to squash after 3 decades away (we are the risk group guys); warming up for as long as you play for starters. Here’s to squash in the 2028 in the LA Olympics and then 2032 in our home town of Brisbane, Australia. Get out there and start squashing in your local area. Unfortunately, our audio mucked up in the final minutes of our chat, sorry. Thank goodness for the subtitles! Find Caleb: Caleb Johnson Squash - Instagram, Facebook, and website Related Midlife Unfiltered episodes: * Bone Chatter: Strong Bones Are More Than Density * Re-Entry in Midlife: Who You Were Before Kids If you’d like a full deep-dive - history, global participation, the studies behind every claim, and more…keep reading below. The full story: I picked up a squash racquet when I was about 6. After 30 years since competing, I’m back playing squash for the health benefits I know it brings. Join Caleb Johnson, my fabulous squash coach and I as we explore this brilliant, unique racquet sport. It’s been called the #1 all-round healthiest sport and is often referred to as ‘chess on legs’. Meet Caleb. Caleb is a professional squash player and coach, currently ranked 311 in the world and #15 in Australia. He started playing at 14, (late by professional standards, where most competitors start at 4, 5, or 6) and became Australia’s #1 under-19 player by 18. He turned professional at 22. His goal…crack the top 100, and maybe, just maybe, an Olympic team spot in 2028. Alongside his own playing career, he coaches clients from age 5 to 85. Squash is different from other racquet sports. Unlike tennis, table tennis, pickleball, badminton, or padel, players share the exact same physical space. There’s no net that separate
Sarah is my optometrist. Actually, Sarah and Sally both are. I’ve been asking my health team members specifically about what their ‘area of body expertise’ is affected in peri-menopause and post-menopausally. To get the facts straight from the expert’s mouth. I had my bi-annual eye exam recently and asked Sally if there are any conditions she knew of that are more prominent in midlife, that are attributable to menopause? Instantly, she said “yes, Dry Eye Disease“ and “Sarah is the one to speak about it. (Yep, she threw Sarah straight under the bus. Thankfully they’re great mates). And Sarah said “yes”. We talk a lot about how menopause dries things up - skin, mouth, vagina. You know. You can probably add a few more to the list. Turns out, dry eyes are too and most of us have no idea. Why is that? Is it the lack of research? Lack of clinical knowledge? Or the simple fact that we’re just not talking about it? Probably all 3. So today Sarah and I are changing that. With her 20+ years of clinical and academic experience in optometry, running a dedicated Dry Eye Clinic and as a woman in midlife, Sarah is perfectly positioned to talk to us about what happens to our eyes in this time of life and what we can do to help them as we age. Yep, she’s our gal! Because that blurry vision you blame on needing a new prescription, or thinking your watery, gritty, tired eyes are because of seasonal changes (and the season of your life), this episode is for you. Let’s go!
In this very special episode, Carol Seymour reads one of her deeply stirring pieces that’s struck a chord with 100’s of women who feel like guests in their own lives. Honest and knowing. For women who sense it’s time to choose themselves. A little while back I read a piece Carol Seymour had written on Substack, and it resonated so deeply with me that I had an overwhelming urge to reach out to her. Not just to say thank you for writing it, but to ask if she’d come on and read it for us and then talk with me about what inspired it. She said “yes”. Yes! Carol writes at The Gray Campervan Writer on Substack. She lives in Louisiana and travels most of the year in her campervan, writing stories mostly for women over 60 who are figuring out what they want the rest of their life to look like. In this episode * Carol reads her piece, “Why Women Over 60 Are Quietly Walking Away From the Lives They Built” . It’s about quietly walking away from the roles and expectations we were raised to carry and choosing what we desire instead. It brought tears to my eyes while she was reading it and I could see the love-heart reactions pouring in from everyone watching live. * I ask Carol about the moment she decided to write it - the inspiration for her words. * We talk about ‘letting go’ and the idea of what a ‘good woman’ is supposed to be. And so much more. Carol shares much wisdom. About Carol Seymour At 76, Carol’s learning that starting over isn’t for the faint of heart. She writes for women who have reached that place in life where they look around and quietly wonder is this all there is? She’s had to make some hard choices about money, home, family, aging, and what she’s wanted the last chapters of her life to look like. “I’ve slept in my van, traveled alone, worried about money, wrestled with fear, and wondered more than once whether I was too old to start again. I decided I wasn’t.”