#16: Tom Horne - Home Birth, Loss, and Learning to Feel Again

Welcome to episode 16 of Edge Within with Mat Davenport.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Tom Horne, a father who lost his son Dash just under two years ago, hours after a home birth, to talk about grief, love, masculinity, and what it takes to keep going when your world splits in two.

Tom walks us through the day everything changed: the birth of his son, a sudden medical emergency, and the moment Dash passed away in his partner's arms. We go deep into what grief feels like for a man, why there's no guidebook for this kind of loss, and the years-long process of learning to hold space for his partner's pain while finding his own way to feel it.

We talk honestly about home birth versus hospital birth, about being conditioned to man up, and about rebuilding a relationship after unimaginable loss. We end on purpose, and the new brand Tom and his partner have built out of the wreckage.

This episode is medicine for anyone who has lost someone, anyone supporting a partner through grief, and any man learning that feeling isn't weakness, it's leadership.

TOPICS COVERED Losing his son Dash after a home birth Birth and death arriving in the same day Why grief has no fix or solution The lack of support systems for grieving fathers Going back to work to keep the family afloat Choosing not to numb out with drugs or alcohol Witnessing his partner's 12.5 hour birth The moment Dash stopped breathing and CPR at home The out of body shock of trauma Home birth versus hospital birth, the hard truths Why grief and love are deeply connected Being conditioned to never cry as a man Rite of passage and healthy masculinity for the next generation Whether everything happens for a reason How grief physically and emotionally ages you Rebuilding a relationship through shared grief Rethinking funerals, birthdays and how we honor life and death Building Sana Studio out of grief Force versus flow when chasing your purpose

FOLLOW Tom: https://www.instagram.com/thomasjackhorne/ EdgeWithin: https://www.instagram.com/edgewithinpodcast Mat Davenport: https://www.instagram.com/rawmatdavenport

TIMESTAMPS 0:00 Opening Prayer for Dash 1:21 Losing Dash, Two Years Later 2:33 Birth and Death in the Same Day 6:01 Why Grief Has No Fix 9:32 No Guidebook for Loss 15:08 Keeping the Ship Afloat 19:13 Sink or Swim 27:23 Witnessing the Home Birth 33:36 When Dash Stopped Breathing 36:39 This Is Real, This Is Not a Dream 44:51 Home Birth vs Hospital: The Hard Truths 53:02 Grief and Love Are the Same Coin 58:22 Why Tom Never Cried in His 20s 1:04:11 Rite of Passage for Men 1:12:11 Does Everything Happen for a Reason 1:15:48 How Grief Ages You and Relationships 1:29:47 Rethinking Funerals and Birthdays 1:38:12 Building Sana Studio From Grief 1:53:43 Force vs Flow: Chasing Purpose