Show Notes
Why do some regrets stay with us for years while others seem to fade? Why do guilt and shame continue to shape the way we see ourselves long after the moment has passed? In this episode, I explore why survival often changes us, how the strategies that once protected us can become our identity, and what it actually takes to make peace with our past. Freedom doesn't come from denying what happened, excusing ourselves, or pretending we're over it. It comes from facing reality honestly while embracing our humanity. Together, we'll explore the difference between guilt and shame, why they're often confused, and how learning to separate our actions from our identity creates space for responsibility, compassion, forgiveness, and lasting freedom. If you've ever wondered whether your worst moments define you—or if you're carrying guilt or shame you can't seem to put down—this episode offers a practical way to begin making peace with your past. In this episode: The difference between guilt and shame Healthy shame versus toxic shame How childhood survival strategies become lifelong habits Why your coping mechanisms are not your identity How to make peace with your past without denying it Why facing reality and embracing our humanity leads to freedom
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ADHD isn't a good enough explanation... Paul Drayton was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021. Like many people, receiving the diagnosis brought relief. Experiences and behaviors that had confused him for years suddenly had a name.But does giving something a name explain it?In this conversation, I wanted to try something different. Instead of interpreting Paul through the diagnosis, I wanted to understand HIM.So we moved away from the label and into his life.We talked about the sensitive little boy who sometimes escaped the noise of his home. A family where emotions weren’t easily expressed. A teenager whose mind wouldn’t quiet down. Alcohol. Addiction. Creativity. Impulsivity. Relationships. And a deeply human desire to be heard and understood.And the further we moved away from the diagnosis, the more interesting the conversation became.We also examine what we actually know about ADHD, what we don't know, and the difference between identifying a collection of behaviors and establishing their cause.This isn't about replacing one reductive explanation with another.I simply refuse to reduce a human being to one in the first place.Paul is not "ADHD."He is a man with a history, relationships, wounds, strengths, choices, adaptations, longings, and a story still being written.And, like every one of us, he is infinitely more interesting than a diagnosis could ever account for.Paul Drayton is an actor and author of Ride — Or Die Trying.Click subscribe to follow the show!Follow me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/Follow the show: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/Paul's book: https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Die-Trying-Before-Laughter/dp/B0HDR233Q9/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.zbHEfHT7LWcK5skFtpnfetf2njpzYJGzMI6RJNu1CPpuD5HHsQjOh90A5MEFcA0xH3moj6EYSJ9y00dLLQ71rHc0ARZH9Qg04Yb57OK4wc8M8guK4rxDGn2jKNsggHDjlb9UXuyUB4xDRErXjDrauCiZ4SnmlsS45HtjoLyljj7cVOd7nU7tGGSGGzPb2zLu5-FPsc6xieqIVkY7LpgxRVYYS0qG-f4kSd5X3tCo9hs.ywH5bmWrV2VuQCVSm_epW66i1Kr9WKadQIPBtYjw5Dg&qid=1789350621&sr=1-1