Is It Normal to Grieve After Your Child’s Autism or ADHD Diagnosis? | Ep. 154 with Suzanne Jabour
Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is DifferentShow Notes
Samantha and Lauren welcome certified grief educator and coach Suzanne Jabour to the podcast to discuss grief beyond bereavement, particularly the grief parents may feel after a child’s diagnosis. They explore how grieving the loss of an imagined future does not reflect a lack of love for a child, and how acknowledging emotions can help parents more fully accept and support their kids. Suzanne shares her perspective that diagnoses and labels can be embraced as practical tools to access educational and government systems, resources, and advocacy leverage, even when the label may evolve over time; she also describes her own experience advocating for her son Ben’s needs in school and the importance of being emotionally clear when entering challenging meetings like IEPs.
Suzanne offers strategies for moving through ongoing and situational grief, including allowing “hot mess” moments, using a feelings wheel to name nuanced emotions so they can move, finding spaces to be witnessed, and preparing emotionally before difficult conversations to show up empowered. They also discuss the ongoing grief parents feel when neurodivergent children are excluded or mistreated, and Suzanne suggests balancing vigilance with intentionally noticing “glimmers” or micro-joys, small moments of acceptance and safety.
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