How Farrukh went from trying to fix sleep and putting his life on hold to enjoying his days and letting sleep take care of itself (#79)

Today, I’m talking with Farrukh — someone whose experience with insomnia slowly began to take over more and more of his life.

At first, sleep wasn’t something he thought much about. It was just there. Something that happened naturally. But over time, that started to change. Nights became more unpredictable. Sleep felt less certain — and it began to consume his attention.

He started noticing how he slept. Then thinking about how he slept. Then worrying about how he might sleep. And from there, things escalated.

Nights became something to prepare for. Something to manage. Something to try and get right. He began experimenting with different routines, adjusting his environment, and doing everything he could to improve his sleep.

Everything he did was understandable. But instead of making things easier, the ongoing effort put more of his time and energy into sleep. It became something he had to figure out — something he had to fix.

And that pressure started to spread beyond the night. Sleep was no longer just part of his life. It was starting to shape it.

In this conversation, Farrukh shares what began to change when he stepped away from that constant effort and started bringing his focus back to living his life.

He talks about what that looked like for him and how that change in direction freed him from an ongoing struggle and got him to a place where sleep is no longer a big deal at all.

Click here for a full transcript of this episode.

Transcript

Martin: Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live.

Martin: The content of this podcast is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

Martin: Okay. Farrukh, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to come onto the podcast.

Farrukh: Thank you. Hi to you and hi to everybody i’m really excited to be here and I look forward to this conversation.

Martin: It’s great to have you on. Let’s just dive in and get started right at the beginning. When did your sleep problems first begin and what do you feel caused those initial issues with sleep?

Farrukh: The sleep issues, initially began with some other things happening in my life that I was a bit stressed about, that I was a bit worried about, and that worry creeping into sleep initially.

Farrukh: But after it creeped into sleep for one night, two nights, three nights, then the worry started attaching to sleep in itself. It almost felt like I’ve lost the ability to fall asleep and then it started to become a huge problem.

Martin: So at first there was some worries or some stresses going on in your life and when you noticed some sleep disruption, at first it felt, okay, this makes sense why I am struggling with sleep a little bit because I’ve got all these worries going on right now.

Martin: But then as the sleep disruption continued over multiple nights, the worries then became more about sleep than whatever might have first triggered the actual sleep disruption itself.

Farrukh: Exactly. I think after your brain sees multiple experiences of it happening, then it becomes a loop. And then you feel like there’s no way out. And I’ve lost the ability to fall asleep. And you ask the people, you ask your friends, you ask you