78. Why Teenage Boys Pull Away, How to Talk About Tough Topics, and What Actually Builds Confidence: A Conversation with Dr. Matt Bellace
Raising Boys Building Men ®/: Reconnect with Your Teenage SonShow Notes
What happened to your sweet little boy? One day he wants to be with you all the time. The next day he barely looks at you. If you are parenting a teenage son, you have felt this shift. In this episode, Heidi talks with neuropsychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Matt Bellace about what is really going on in your son’s brain. They break down why boys pull away, why they seem angry for no reason, and how moms can stop taking it so personally. You will also learn how to talk about substance use without fear, how to help your son find healthy dopamine, and how to build real resilience instead of trying to control behavior. This episode will help you understand your son better and give you tools you can use right away.
Guest Details and Resources: Dr. Matt Bellace is an author, stand-up comedian, and nationally recognizedspeaker who blends science, storytelling, and humor to inspire healthier choices,build resilience, and reduce burnout. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical neuropsychology, with deep expertise in the science ofaddiction and the power of positive psychology. Dr. Bellace is the author of twobooks: A Better High, which humorously and insightfully explores how to achievenatural highs through laughter, mindfulness, and meaningful connection; and Life is Disappointing and Other Inspiring Thoughts, which examines how pain, loss, andfailure can be transformed into fuel for growth and achievement. Dr. Bellace trained at the National Institute of Mental Health, Mount Sinai Hospitalin New York City, and the Drexel University Counseling Center. For more than two decades, he has spoken to schools, universities, andorganizations nationwide, promoting wellness, mental health, and self-empowerment in ways that resonate across generations. He lives in Princeton, New Jersey, with his wife, 16-year-old son and 13-year-olddaughter. A longtime youth sports coach, Dr. Bellace spent over a decade coachingbaseball and flag football, and has served as commissioner of the Princeton JuniorFootball League and a board member of Princeton Little League.
To listen to "Better High Podcast" Click HERE To access Dr. Bellace's books Click HERE To learn more visit: Mattbellace.com
For Additional Support: Visit our website Raisingboysbuildingmen.com HERE Schedule a FREE Relationship Reconnection Call with Me HERE Follow us on Instagram HERE Grab 8 tips to connect with your son today HERE
More from Raising Boys Building Men ®/: Reconnect with Your Teenage Son
Seven missing assignments in math. A phone he won’t put down. “Mom, you mom too much.” And in about two seconds, your mind is racing: “He’s going to ruin his future. I’ve lost him. I’ve failed as a mom.” If you feel scared, panicked, or guilty about your teenage son more days than not, you are in good company. You’re not a bad mom. You’re a scared mom who loves her son. In this episode, Heidi Allsop, Master Certified Life and Parenting Coach and mom of five sons, shows you where that fear really comes from (hint: it’s not his behavior). You’ll learn why “just stop yelling” never sticks, how to pull the behavior from the boy, and a simple 3-step practice for this week when the worry shows up. This is the first step of The Connected Mom Method: Manage Yourself. Because restoring your relationship is the fastest way to improve his behavior, and it starts with how you think about him. One mom wrote in after listening: “After just one podcast, that feeling was gone, that hopeless feeling. I finally had hope that I can have a relationship with my son.” In this episode, you’ll learn:
“Why can’t you take a joke, Mom?” If your teenage son has been disrespectful lately, this one is for you. Maybe you reminded him to take out the trash and he said, “No.” You pushed back, and he grinned: “Just kidding.” Or he snapped a salute and said, “Yes, ma’am,” like it was the funniest thing in the world. And you were left wondering when your sweet boy started talking to you like this. In this episode, Heidi shares 4 simple shifts for the next time it happens: what to do before you say a word, exactly what to say in the moment, and how to repair after. Disrespect is fixable, and it doesn’t have to come between the two of you. Takeaways:
When your teenage son is struggling, it's easy to spend all your energy on the problems. The eye rolls, the arguing, the slammed doors. In this episode, Heidi does something a little different. She shares the five things she loves most about raising boys, the ultrasound moment that changed everything, and a simple challenge that will help you enjoy your son again, even on the hard days. Takeaways:
He says he cares, but nothing changes. He says the homework is done, and it isn't. And before you know it, your mind has jumped ten years ahead to a future that scares you. In this episode, Heidi shares a different way to look at your son's "lack of motivation," plus three points that will help you meet him where he is and guide him forward with more calm and less fear. Takeaways:
Heidi's last son just left home, and it cracked something open in her. In this episode, she shares three honest, unconventional truths about self-care and motherhood, things she wishes she had leaned into more, so that instead of losing yourself in these years, you come out the other side having become someone even better. Takeaways: