152: What to do If Your Sensitive Child Shows No Empathy For Others

Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive ChildTuesday, July 14, 2026

Show Notes

Watch my video → <a href="https://youtu.be/jZBAuu4CsGc" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">How to End Your Child's Meltdowns in 8 Weeks or Less</a> Sensitive kids don't lack empathy. They're buried under so much shame they can't reach it. Sensitive kids feel more, not less. When they hurt someone, that "I'm a bad kid" feeling floods them so hard they wall off any softer emotion underneath, including remorse. From the outside, that wall reads as coldness. On the inside, it's the opposite. Here's the part most parents miss: saying "I'm sorry" takes vulnerability. A child drowning in shame cannot access vulnerability. So the more you push for accountability, the more the wall grows, and the less empathy you see. The shift that changes this is smaller and stranger than most parenting advice suggests. It has almost nothing to do with consequences, apologies, or teaching lessons in the moment. If you've ever wondered whether your child is lacking empathy, listen to this before you draw any conclusions. You’ll learn: [0:00] Introduction[1:38] The wall of shame sitting between your child and the empathy they feel[4:07] The empathy your child needs from you before they can access their own [5:47] The moments that build the wall of shame, or tear it down Find more from Dr. Hilary: Raised Resilient | <a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">Facebook Group</a>Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | <a href="https://raisedresilient.com/program" target="_blank" style="background-color: tran

More from Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive Child

Oct 20, 2026

The Shame Vs Guilt Difference That Lets You Correct Your Sensitive Child Without Them Hearing ‘I Am a Bad Kid’

If you’ve ever googled “are time outs effective,” puzzled over time out vs time in, or typed “do time outs work” because something just doesn’t feel right, this one is for you.In this episode, I break down the difference between a punishment timeout and a break your child needs.You’ll learn:

Oct 13, 2026

Siblings Fighting Again? The Hidden Toll Your Sensitive Child’s Meltdowns Take on Their Sibling

Have you ever read every book and saved every script, only to freeze the second your child starts kicking and throwing things?

Oct 6, 2026

Is Your Kid Always Angry? Here’s Why Anger Is a Secondary Emotion (and How to Create Emotional Safety)

Does your child go from angry at breakfast to yelling "I hate you" by dinner? In today's episode, I unpack why your child seems angry all the time and what's REALLY going on underneath. We get into where does people pleasing come from, which is an important starting point since so many of us grew up conflict avoidant, sitting on suppressed anger. You'll learn:<ul><li>What causes people pleasing, and how it shapes the way you react to anger</li><li>How a "good girl" childhood can lead to a conflict avoidant personality as an adult</li><li>Why a five-year-old's anger comes out in such messy ways (and yours did, too)</li><li>How your own repressed anger can show up when your child starts yelling</li><li>Why anger is a secondary emotion, and what it might be protecting your sensitive kid from</li><li>Why mom rage can flare the second your child gets angry at you</li><li>What is emotional safety, and what does it look like on a hard day?</li><li>What softening really means when your child is kicking and calling you names</li><li>How to create emotional safety when you're too angry to soften</li><li>Why it can feel like gentle parenting doesn't work, even with the right script</li></ul>If your child seems angry ALL the time and you've started to wonder if this is just who they are, this episode is for you. Here's to raising resilient kids,Dr. Hilary Find more from Dr. Hilary:Raised Resilient | <a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">

Sep 29, 2026

163: Am I Raising a Narcissist? Why Sensitive Kids Show a Lack of Empathy When They’re Upset

Have you ever caught yourself Googling "am I raising a narcissist" at 2am after another rough day? Does your child hit their sister, call you names, and show zero remorse? Do they melt down every time you say no, or shut down the second you ask them to own what happened? In this episode, I share why sensitive, emotionally intense kids can look narcissistic. You'll learn:<ul><li>Why your sensitive kid can show a lack of empathy when someone else is hurting</li><li>Why your child's still-developing emotional regulation can get mistaken for narcissism</li><li>What narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, according to the DSM-5</li><li>What your child's age has to do with the question of raising a narcissist</li><li>How narcissism really develops, and what's hiding underneath all that grandiosity</li><li>Why your sensitive kid feels SO much shame, no matter what you do</li><li>What is emotional safety, and how it changes the way your child handles shame</li><li>What does emotional safety look like when your child has just hit their sibling</li><li>How to create emotional safety after you've lost your cool with your kid</li><li>What's really behind extreme defensiveness when you ask your child to take accountability</li></ul> If you’ve ever worried about what your child’s behavior means for who they will become, this episode will help you understand what may be going on underneath the surface. Here's to raising resilient kids,Dr. Hilary Find more from Dr. Hilary:Raised Resilient | <a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raised

Sep 22, 2026

162: Why Gentle Parenting Is Not Working for Your Sensitive Kid: 5 Proven Ways to Handle Your Child’s Meltdowns

Is gentle parenting not working even after every script you've tried? Gentle parenting was never meant to be a list of scripts you follow perfectly. Your child is unique, and what helps one child calm down can make another child feel even more overwhelmed. So, in today's episode, I share five popular gentle parenting techniques that can make meltdowns worse with your sensitive kid, and WHY each one backfires. You'll learn:<ul><li>Why gentle parenting doesn't work the way the reels make it look with your sensitive kid</li><li>What your child actually hears when you circle back after the meltdown</li><li>Why your child can tell you hitting isn't kind and still do it again</li><li>How the emotional water pitcher explains the meltdown that shows up after school</li><li>How co-regulation strategies for parents shift when your child yells "go away"</li><li>What co regulation parenting looks like when naming feelings makes it worse</li><li>What gentle parenting REALLY asks of you when your kid needs your calm</li><li>How to catch yourself as an overstimulated mom before your tone turns sharp</li></ul> If you’re tired of wondering why the strategies you’ve been told to use aren’t helping, this episode will help you understand what may be happening underneath the meltdown and what your child might actually need from you in those moments. Here's to raising resilient kids,Dr. Hilary Find more from Dr. Hilary:Raised Resilient | <a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Face

See all episodes →