The Most Dangerous Red Flag: Strangulation, Domestic Violence & The Family Court Reality
Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & JopShow Notes
⚠️ Trigger WarningThis episode contains detailed discussion surrounding:
Domestic and family violence
Strangulation and choking
Trauma and coercive control
Psychological abuse
Court processes involving victim-survivors
Listener discretion is strongly advised.
Episode OverviewIn one of the most confronting and emotionally powerful episodes of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle the deeply serious topic of strangulation within intimate relationships — and why it is considered one of the strongest indicators of future lethality in domestic violence situations. Drawing on their extensive experience within the family law and court systems, Daz and Jop unpack:
How coercive and controlling behaviour escalates into physical violence
Why strangulation is treated as an extreme risk factor
The devastating psychological and physiological impacts on victim-survivors
How criminal and family law systems intersect in these matters
The evidentiary challenges victims face
Why trauma-informed legal support is critical
The long-term impact family violence has on children
The urgent need for education, prevention and cultural change
This episode is both educational and deeply human — offering insight into the realities faced by victim-survivors navigating separation, parenting and the legal system after severe domestic violence. Key Discussion Points:The Hidden Medical ConsequencesDaz and Jop discuss how many victim-survivors never seek immediate medical treatment following strangulation incidents — often due to fear, trauma or shock. They highlight serious medical consequences including:
Acquired brain injuries
Memory loss and amnesia
Oxygen deprivation
Esophagus and airway injuries
Long-term neurological damage
Severe psychological trauma and PTSD
Jop strongly encourages victim-survivors to seek urgent medical attention and documentation after any strangulation incident.
Why Victims Often Don’t Report ImmediatelyOne of the most important parts of the episode examines why victim-survivors may delay reporting violence to police, doctors or the courts. The conversation explores:
Fear of retaliation
Trauma responses
Emotional paralysis
Concern for children
Financial dependency
Psychological conditioning through coercive control
Daz explains how defence teams in court often scrutinise “contemporaneous reporting” — meaning whether incidents were immediately reported — despite the complex trauma responses victims experience. About The HostsDarren Mort Family law barrister, advocate and commentator focused on family violence, parenting matters and trauma-informed legal practice. Joplin Higgins Family lawyer, author and Director of Joplin Lawyers, recognised for her work in family violence advocacy and victim-survivor support.
Join The ConversationIf this episode resonates with you, or you have questions about family law, coercive control, parenting, domestic violence or separation:
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Listener SupportIf this episode has raised concerns for you or someone you know, support is available through Australian domestic violence and crisis services. You are encouraged to seek assistance from:
Call Triple Zero - Police in emergencies
Domestic violence support services
Trauma-informed counsellors
Medical professionals
Legal practitioners experienced in family violence matters
Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals. Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor). Real law. Real families. Real conversations. Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alon
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