Show Notes
The 57th episode of The Full Stop podcast is recorded to raise awareness of childless men on International Men's Day, 19th November, #IMD2023 The recording features a panel of childless men discussing their experiences and perspectives. The speakers, from various backgrounds and professions, share their personal journeys with childlessness, discussing feelings of exclusion and inclusion and the impact of societal narratives around men who are not fathers, and the importance of finding support. They also address the lack of conversation around childless men and the need for more recognition and understanding. The discussion includes research findings from Dr Robin A Hadley who also shares a poem that reflects on the longing and emptiness experienced by men who are not childless not by choice. The episode builds on an ongoing conversation including a panel on Childless Men and Creativity which took place at Storyhouse Chester in September 2023 as part of Storyhouse Childless Live, an in-person event that raises awareness of childlessness and childfree people. This panel featured two childless not by choice men - Robert Nurden and Andy Harrod - with Bransby Macdonald-Williams (who has chosen not to have children) and was chaired by our Sarah Lawrence, co-director, co-founder and co-presenter of The Full Stop. How to contact our guests Our guests are Don Martinz, Jay Palmer, Russ Pata, Mike Sparks and Dr Robin A. Hadley and they mention The Childless Men’s Community and The Full Stop Community in their conversation. We’re also indebted to the work of Andy Harrod and Robert Nurden who have both raised awareness for men too. World Childless Week also featured Men Matter Too which Michael helped to curate and you can find the 2021 page here, do browse the WCW website for more interesting contributions from childless men. Dr Robin Hadley’s website details his extensive research into male broodiness and lists his publications and talks. He has also been on stage at Storyhouse Live in Chester. Find out more about Mike’s restoration work and his story on his website. Jay Parmar is a new voice to our podcast and he's a musician living on the South coast of the UK. He can be found on Youtube and online
More from The Full Stop
We're joined by two researchers, Dr Nicola Spurling and Professor Cristina Archetti, for a conversation that goes right to the heart of why the Full Stop exists. Nicola is a sociologist at Lancaster University who's turned her attention to childlessness. Cristina is a professor, psychotherapist, and the author of two books on involuntary childlessness, including her brand-new release, The Trauma of Infertility. Together they talk about what it really means to bring your story into your research, why childlessness isn't a single moment but a process that runs through an entire life Meet Our Guests Nicola Spurling Senior Lecturer in Sociology, Lancaster University "In my current work I explore how, over the past fifteen years, childless people have increasingly used autobiography and storytelling to share experiences, develop knowledge and make sense of childless lives collectively. I'm interested in what happens when social researchers take that knowledge seriously — not simply as material for research about childlessness, but as something that can raise new questions and reshape what researchers think it is important to study." 🔗 Nicola's Lancaster University profile 📄 Nicola's papers (both open access — free to read). A note for listeners: these are written for an academic audience, so the language is quite dense, especially in the opening sections. Nicola is happy to answer any questions if you'd like to dig in.
What if the question "why don't you have children?" was one you spent your doctorate trying to answer for yourself? That's exactly what Dr Naomi Menahem did. And what she found wasn't the misery she'd half expected. It was something nuanced and defiant, and ultimately more hopeful. In Episode 89, Naomi joins us from Byron Bay to share her research on circumstantial childlessness, the concept of the Deferral Iceberg, and why she's chosen "robust pragmatism" over the quiet resignation of "acceptance." She also tells us about Childless Conversation — her new monthly in-person gathering for women who've been silent for too long.
In this episode, Michael, Sarah and Berenice are joined by poet Kate Smith — known on Instagram as Millie the Poet and writing under the name Kathryn Millington — to talk about her poetry pamphlet Imprint (Fawn Press), which explores childlessness, IVF and grief. Kate reads three poems live on the episode and talks candidly about her own fertility journey, the process of writing about deeply personal experience, and what it's meant to bring that work into the world. Meet our Guest Kathryn ‘Millie ’Millington is a poet, performer and activist based in Sheffield. She ran the poetry charity ‘Nine Lives Poetry’, creating a stage for emerging local poets. Millie’s poetry tells us a story of grief as a result of involuntary childlessness. It takes us on a journey “…into a world that feels niche, but is anything but…” (Wendy Pratt), to a place of acceptance of a future without children and ultimately a creative and fulfilling life. “You will know someone like me. We are everywhere: at your workplace, within your family, and your friendship groups. It’s such a lonely place. I want to inhabit that place and be that voice, to show that we can create.” Millie has shared the stage with Helen Mort, Michael Pedersen, Toria Garbutt and Leyla Josephine. Her poem ‘Imprint’ was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize. Her debut Pamphlet ‘Imprint’ received praise from Benjamin Zephaniah "I have no words, because you've used them all". Millie is published by Fawn Press and her poetry is available to buy online. You can also buy direct from her, pop her a message via Instagram @milliethepoet or email Recommended Books About Poetry/becoming a creative person
Katy Schnitzler returns to The Full Stop five years on — now fresh off submitting her PhD — to dig into one of the thorniest workplace issues for people who are childless not by choice: holidays, leave, and boundaries. The conversation moves from the personal (the strange non-celebration of finishing a PhD, the "full stop" feeling of an ending without ceremony) into the structural: school-holiday leave bias, rota and shift unfairness, "informal favours" for parents, and the particular pressures faced by teachers, midwives and nurses who are childless. Katy shares findings from her doctoral research and her Pronatalism at Work project, and the group works through practical, non-judgemental ways organisations can make leave, language and culture fairer for everyone, without taking anything away from parents. We're talking about ...
Seven years ago, Michael hit record, Sarah spoke and Berenice published episode 1 of the Full Stop pressed publish on the first episode. It was 20 minutes and 20 seconds long. There were 108 downloads. And neither of us had any idea what we were doing. Episode 86 brings us together to mark seven years of honest conversation about childless life. Join us to listen back, reflect, and look forward. In this episode: