Menopause Taught Me to Put My Oxygen Mask On First: Gabby Bernstein & Emily Morse
The Luminescence Podcast with Schuyler GrantShow Notes
Two women, one shared reckoning: perimenopause and menopause arrived and rewrote everything they thought they knew about their bodies, their sex lives, and themselves.
In this extended conversation, #1 New York Times bestselling author Gabby Bernstein and sexologist Emily Morse (host of Sex with Emily) open up about the messy, unglamorous entry into midlife hormonal change — rage, hot flashes, vanished libido, and in Gabby's case, a fertility journey that included IVF and pregnancy loss. Emily, meanwhile, is living out her own perimenopause in real time, testing on herself everything she's spent over twenty years teaching other people about pleasure.
Both conversations are part of Sex in Menopause, a free masterclass with Naomi Watts featuring sexual health expert Dr. Somi Javaid, psychologist Dr. Cindy Meston, and real women navigating changing bodies, mismatched desire, and identity shifts most of us were never prepared for. Right now there is only one trained menopause provider for every 32,000 women who need care. If sex has disappeared or changed in ways you can't explain, that's not a personal failure. That's a gap in the medical system.
In this episode:
Menopause as a "spiritual shakedown" — Gabby's reckoning
Early perimenopause symptoms & finding real support
Marriage, communication & educating a partner
Fertility, IVF & pregnancy loss
HRT, lifestyle shifts & feeling more herself than ever (Gabby)
Preparing for menopause & a message of hope
Emily's own perimenopause & why she's not exempt from the confusion
Medical dismissal & why doctors aren't trained on this
Communication as "lubrication": talking to partners about sex
Letting go of duty sex
Desire, burnout & the nervous system connection
Toys, lube & modern arousal aids, without shame
Why midlife can mean the best sex of your life
Topics covered: menopause, perimenopause, women's sexual health, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), fertility, IVF, pregnancy loss, low libido, desire, arousal, sex toys, lube, communication in relationships, medical dismissal, nervous system regulation, self-pleasure, healing, spiritual growth, midlife identity, Gabby Bernstein, Emily Morse.
If this episode landed for you: watch Sex in Menopause, the free documentary with Naomi Watts, at sexinmenopause.com. For more conversations like this — plus live events, retreats, and past seasons — head to Luminescence.health.
More from The Luminescence Podcast with Schuyler Grant
Metabolic health isn't really about weight, Schuyler Grant, Dr. Robin Berzin, and Dr. Mary Pardee argue — it's the single biggest lever available for healthspan, driving everything from brain function to bone health to the "four horsemen" of heart disease, cancer, and dementia.
Viagra was approved in 1998. It took another two decades before women's sexual health started being treated as a physiological issue instead of a mood problem — and most women still don't know there are three real prescription options for low desire.
Estrogen receptors are in nearly every organ in your body, so when estrogen drops, your whole body feels it. OB/GYN and menopause expert Dr. Mary Claire Haver explains what that means for your bones, muscle, heart, brain, and belly fat. Recorded live at the Luminescence event in Texas.
Women lose up to 20% of their bone density during perimenopause, often silently, until a fracture makes it impossible to ignore.
55% of women say they've felt gaslit by a doctor. 80% delay care rather than walk into an appointment where they know they won't be heard.