
Ep 165. Grief, Sobriety and Transformation: Rebuilding a Life After Loss, with Edwina
Behind The Smile with Ash ButterssShow Notes
This week you’re invited to listen in as Ash sits down with her lifelong friend Edwina, to explore what it means to remake your life in the wake of loss, motherhood, and big internal change. Edwina opens up about the sudden death of her brother, how grief reshaped her sense of self, and the quiet, courageous decision to question her relationship with alcohol.
She shares what happened when she chose an alcohol-free life, not just on the surface, but in her identity, her friendships, and the way she shows up as a mother and a woman. Ash and Edwina dive into the role of therapy on this path, unpacking powerful modalities like EMDR, and how these practices helped her meet the younger parts of herself with compassion instead of criticism.
Together, they talk about the fears that come with sobriety and the unexpected gifts that arrive when the noise of drinking is stripped away. The conversation shines a light on how retreats, community, and intentional healing practices can open space for self-discovery, deeper connection, and true emotional safety.
Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery 01:35 Meet Edwina: A Journey Through Life 03:34 Navigating Grief and Vulnerability 06:44 The Impact of Injury on Identity 09:11 Finding Purpose in Adversity 11:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story 21:17 The Unfairness of Life and Loss 23:00 Alcohol: A Coping Mechanism 35:13 Healing and Understanding Family Dynamics 35:48 Therapeutic Journeys: Exploring EMDR and Internal Family Systems 38:02 The Alcohol-Free Awakening: A Personal Journey 42:09 Facing Fears: The Terrifying Decision to Quit Drinking 46:14 Redefining Relationships: Alcohol and Authentic Connections 50:21 Building Deeper Friendships: The Shift in Social Dynamics 55:12 The Power of Vulnerability: Authenticity in Relationships 01:01:05 Embracing Change: The Journey of Self-Discovery 01:07:52 Investing in Self: The Importance of Personal Retreats 01:12:30 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life: Community, Nourishment, and Movement
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The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026
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