Show Notes
You've forgiven the person. You've set the boundary. You've tried to have discernment about what your kids are watching. And somehow you're still standing in your kitchen wondering if you actually did any of it right. In this Season 1 Q&A, Josh and Katie work through the questions you sent in after the first season — the in-between ones that don't get a clean answer in a 60-second reel. They draw a line between codependency and the kind of help the body of Christ is actually called to. They introduce the "no need apology" — the confessions that belong between you and the Lord, and the ones you can't afford to skip and they unpack what discernment looks like inside a home, including practical tools for any person who is trying to grow in discernment. Here are the questions we addressed: Helping vs. codependency — "Isn't there ever a time when we should be reaching out our hand to help people? Isn't it the job of the body to rally around people in need?" Discernment in the gray — "You mentioned there's gray when it comes to witches, crystals, and new age stuff. As a parent discerning what to let my kids watch, how do you navigate the gray?" Boundaries without ghosting — "At what point is it okay to set boundaries — not to ghost someone, but to actually set boundaries?" Jealousy, forgiveness, and the "no need apology" — "How do you handle forgiveness with things like jealousy? Does the person always need to know, or is it a heart issue to be confessed between you and the Lord?" Staying humble with a blame-shifter — "How do you keep apologizing first and stay humble with someone who's committed to blaming you and accuses you of withholding grace when you try to hold them accountable? How do you have a boundary with someone you can't get away from (a coworker, a family member, someone you live with)?" Plain truth and the woman at the well — "What about when Jesus told the Samaritan woman, 'you have five husbands' — he spoke plain truth. How does that fit with discernment?"
Follow Healthy Homes — Season 2 drops this summer with special guests. Send us your questions: DM @healthyhomespodcast on Instagram. Find us: @healthyhomespodcast • healthyhomespodcast.com
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You've torn it all down. So what now? Do you just stay deconstructing forever?Josh sits down with our good friend, Paul Anleitner, a longtime Twin Cities worship pastor, author of Based on a True Story, and host of the Goodmakers Podcast. They get into where deconstruction came from, why it's hit our generation so hard, and how you move through the valley instead of living in it.If you're the one wrestling, or you love someone who's been wrestling for years, this conversation is a good place to start.Looking to Jesus:The hard questions aren't new and they aren't off-limits. They're all over Job and Ecclesiastes. But Jesus doesn't leave us in the valley. He's the Good Shepherd who walks us through it. Acts 17 says God "is not far from any one of us." If you feel like you've gone too far to find your way back, you're closer than you think.In this episode:- Why questioning your faith isn't the problem, but staying there forever is- Why didn't our grandparents' generation deconstruct?- What happens when deconstruction has no end point- Thomas's story: a home group built on "we all hate church," and a prayer to a God he didn't believe in- Why you can't just self-author your own story because "civilization is a group project"Try this week:1. Ask yourself: What story is shaping how I see God, church, and myself right now?2. Notice which conversations leave you more cynical and which leave you more whole.3. Pray one honest prayer, even a half-hearted one.4. Take one small step: read Acts 17, call a friend, or show up on Sunday.5. If someone you love is in the wrestle, don't rush them out of the valley. Walk through it with them.Know someone who's been in the wrestle for a while? Send them this one. Part two with Paul is coming next episode.Chapters00:00 Episode Intro00:34 Meet Paul Anleitner02:49 Why deconstruction, and why now04:28 Where the word "deconstruction" came from07:36 Why grandpa didn't deconstruct09:10 Questions aren't the enemy10:09 When deconstruction has no end11:20 Ecclesiastes and the hard questions13:21 The anti-story underneath it all16:04 Seeing through vs. seeing to16:48 When the cynic becomes the hero17:46 If your friend is deconstructing18:26 Thomas's story20:48 "We all hate church"22:14 Praying to a God you don't believe in23:21 Put down the sledgehammer25:02 He kept taking steps forward25:37 Closer than you think26:23 There's no neutral space28:54 Can I just self-author my story?29:20 The return of deism33:13 Civilization is a group project35:20 A prayer for those in the wrestleScripture: Ecclesiastes, Job, Proverbs, Acts 17:27-28, Luke 15, John 20:24-29, Matthew 5:13-16, Colossians 1:17, Hebrews 1:3
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What if the thing that qualifies you to serve isn't having it all figured out first? In part two of this conversation, Josh continues talking with Eric and Becky Watt about what it actually looks like to build a life — and a family — around service instead of self-improvement. They talk about learning to yield instead of strong-arming in their own marriage, and why they've never felt competition between their callings, only privilege that they get to serve together without serving identically. Eric and Becky get honest about the Turkey story — the time they thought they were helping a family and found out their "help" wasn't actually help at all — and how their very first family mission trip started with something as ordinary as raking a neighbor's leaves down the street. They also name the temptation most parents don't talk about: building your kids' lives instead of building alongside them, and the daily pull to let busyness crowd out the things that actually last. Along the way, Eric doesn't hold back on one conviction — that being a grouchy Christian is a disservice to the God we say we serve. This one is for anyone who's been waiting to feel "ready" before they start serving — and anyone quietly wondering if they're building their kids' lives instead of their own. In this episode: Learning to yield instead of strong-arming
Sometimes being right isn't actually the point, and somewhere along the way, most of us started leading with our position instead of our love. In part one of this conversation, Josh sits down with Eric and Becky Watt to talk about what happened when Becky realized someone had seen her as a person before they saw her politics, and how that one experience messed with everything she thought she believed. They get into what it looks like to love people across a dividing line instead of fighting them across it, why becoming a constant learner from another generation might be the thing that keeps you from getting stuck, and what actually gets lost when we stop listening long enough to understand each other. This one is for anyone tired of picking a side and ready to pick people instead. In this episode: Why being seen as a person, not a position, is what actually softens someone