The Cornell Case and Our Boys: Consent Is the Minimum, Care Should Be the Standard
The ManFlu | Exploring Gender Dynamics, Partnerships & Raising Boys Who CareShow Notes
This episode discusses sexual assault, consent, and allegations of sexual misconduct involving college students. The Cornell allegations remain the subject of ongoing legal proceedings.
Most parents can explain the rules of consent to their sons. But consent is only the legal minimum. Will he notice when someone isn’t okay? Will he speak up when his friends cross a line? And will the grown men around him show him how?
In this solo episode of The ManFlu, host Lucy McAfee starts with a show she was excited to talk about. Prime Video’s Off Campus gave millions of viewers college hockey players who check in, ask questions, and look out for the women in their lives. Then the Cornell fraternity sexual assault allegations made national headlines, along with disturbing messages reportedly shared in a fraternity group chat. Her plans for this episode changed.
Lucy brings in a perspective on the difference between consent and care. Care asks whether a person feels safe, feels comfortable, and is in any state to make a choice. She also pushes back on a familiar response. Every time headlines call for raising boys better, the job lands on mothers. So where are the grown men in this conversation?
Lucy offers one small shift drawn from Dr. Becky Kennedy and Eli Harwood, and it starts long before college with moments as ordinary as a playground or a wrestling match. Press play to hear practical ways to help boys practice care and courage, and why healthy masculinity needs grown men willing to model it.
Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to The ManFlu With Lucy McAfee 01:16 Off Campus and Hockey Players Who Check In 05:11 How the Cornell Case Changed This Episode 06:55 What We Know About the Cornell Allegations 11:14 The Perfect Victim Myth 13:06 Care Should Be the Standard 15:25 The Good Guy With the Text Fallacy 18:06 Where Are the Grown Men in This? 20:37 Practicing Courage With Dr. Becky and Eli Harwood 24:04 One Small Shift: Rehearse the Right Thing
Mentioned in this episode Off Campus on Prime Video The Opinions (New York Times): Cornell and the Age of Impunity, with David French, Michelle Cottle, and Jamelle Bouie Abolish Frat Culture by Bess Kalb Dr. Becky Kennedy, Good Inside Eli Harwood, Attachment Nerd
Sources CBS News: Jane Doe’s account, text messages, and transcripts CBS News: Cornell police interview transcript Cornell University: Official statements Littleton, Axsom & Grills-Taquechel (2009): Sexual Assault Victims’ Acknowledgment Status and Revictimization Risk Treat et al. (2021): Fraternity Membership and Sexual Aggression Snopes: Fact-check on Megyn Kelly’s comments about Jane Doe
Listener Support: RAINN | National Sexual Assault Hotline Free, confidential support available 24/7. Phone: 800-656-HOPE (4673) https://rainn.org/
Connect with Lucy McAfee: Follow Lucy on Instagram Connect with Lucy on LinkedIn Visit The ManFlu website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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