Show Notes
Do boys need a rescue plan? The available evidence says yes. Collectively, our boys are struggling academically, socially, emotionally, and economically. Their academic, educational, and workforce involvement has decreased. Their suicide rates have risen. Ignoring these issues isn’t in our best interest. Fortunately, more and more people are talking about the challenges facing boys & young men. But talking about boys’ challenges isn’t enough. We must act to improve outcomes. Author and counselor Michael Gurian has spent the past 40 years thinking, writing about, and advocating for boys (and girls.). His latest project — Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development, a book he co-authored with Sean Kullman — outlines a path forward. In this conversation, Michael, Janet, & Jen discuss their 7 point rescue plan: Raise Boys To Thrive in a Three Family System Provide Seven Nurturing Elements to Boys Who Are In Trouble Train All Schools in Boy-Friendly Practices Complete Your Own Classroom Citizen Science Compel School Boards to Include Sex Differences in Annual Reports Decrease the Male Gender Gap in College Education Build and Support Community Programs That Help Boys Thrive
Takeaways: Understanding male development is crucial for effective support. Trauma plays a significant role in boys’ behavior. Education systems need to adopt boy-friendly practices. Data collection is crucial for understanding and addressing educational disparities. Citizen science allows parents and teachers to observe and improve educational environments. The politics of masculinity can distract from real issues. Solutions for boys already exist and need to be implemented. Trauma in education can stem from systemic issues. Community programs should actively involve boys in their development.
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development, by Michael Gurian & Sean Kullman Gurian Institute — online home for all things Gurian (includes links to his books, classes, & upcoming events) www.michaelgurian.com Michael Gurian on Raising Boys — ON BOYS podcast episode Global Initiative for Boys & Men — ON BOYS podcast episode featuring Michael’s Rescue Plan co-author, Sean Kullman Global Initiative for Boys & Men In His Words — Sean’s Substack newsletter
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
More from ON BOYS Podcast
Talking with boys — especially tween & teenage boys — can be tricky. Shrugs, grunts, and silence often stand in the way of the conversations parents want to have. Add in timing issues, big emotions, and the pull of devices, and it’s easy to feel like communication is impossible.
Is your son pulling away, shutting down, or showing little interest in school or chores? You’re not alone — and there is a way forward. In this third episode of our special 3-part ON BOYS series, we focus on how to foster intrinsic (inner) motivation in boys. Because yes, it’s in there — even when it feels completely buried. We’ll help you understand the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and why both matter. You’ll hear real-world examples from our own lives and families, plus honest talk about what doesn’t work. (Spoiler: there’s no magic phrase that makes a boy suddenly say, “Sure, I’d love to do my homework!”).
You can’t effectively boost boys’ motivation until you address YOUR anxiety and fear. We know: You want your son to do his homework. To follow through on commitments. To care. So, when he shrugs, resists, or just doesn’t seem to try, your anxiety spikes — and before you even know what’s happening, you’re caught in a spiral of worry about his future. In this episode of ON BOYS, we talk about one of the most overlooked (but most powerful!) factors in boosting boys’ motivation: your mindset. This episode is the second in our special three-part series on Boys & Motivation. (Find part one here.) We’re diving into the pressure parents feel, the unspoken fear that drives us, and how those feelings affect the way we interact with our sons. Plus, we share why community is key and how coming together with other parents can help you show up more effectively for your boy.
It is possible to boost boys’ motivation. Doing so, though, starts with understanding why so boys are unmotivated. A big part of it is developmental: apathy and an “I don’t care/I don’t wanna” attitude commonly show up around puberty. As boy grow from boyhood to adulthood, they begin to question their priorities, interests, and goals. That’s a good thing! AND, it can be incredibly frustrating for parents and teachers who can’t see the behind-the-scenes work, who only see a once-motivated boy pulling back from previous interests and failing to to complete his homework or chores.
The first episode of ON BOYS podcast went live March 12, 2018. Seven years ago! Over the past seven years, we’ve talked to guests from around the globe: Maggie Dent, Michael Gurian, Amy Lang, ADHD Dude Ryan Wexelblatt, Steve Biddulph, Richard V. Reeves, Ruth Whippman, and so, so many others. We’re talked about puberty, porn, school, ADHD, autism, entrepreneurism, motivation, sports, suicide, consent, respect, dating, and – again — so, so much more. Jen’s boys grew up in that time. Her youngest is now 19; her oldest, 27. Janet became an Oma (a grandma) — and is looking forward to welcoming two more grandchildren this year! Boys’ & men’s issues are now part of national and international conversations, and we hope those conversations fuel continued change. Boys need and deserve our love and support too. This will be the last Jen-and-Janet episode of ON BOYS podcast. We’ve loved sharing our lives & learning with you, and we thank you for trusting us with your questions and stories. Remember: We’ve got seven years of content in our archives! When a new boy-raising concern comes up, run a search in our archives. Odds are good that you’ll find something to help you through. Jen will also continue her Substack newsletter, Building Boys Bulletin, so you can connect with her there. Janet will also continue family coaching — and soon, Jen & Janet will offer another session of their popular class, Boost Boys’ Motivation. (Want to be sure you get the info as soon as it’s available? Sign up for Building Boys Bulletin.)