(Mindset Change) Boundaries - How to Set, Maintain and Defend Them | Episode 055

Boundaries - How to Set, Maintain, and Defend them

If you’ve got to the point in life where you might describe yourself better as a doormat rather than a human being, or you get simply told that “you’re too nice” then you’re in the right place.

The boundaries that we set in our lives are the difference between being trampled all over or standing up for ourselves and how we are going to accept being treated.

If you haven’t already then I’d really strongly recommend checking out this brief blog about the types of boundary that you might consider setting.

But why is setting boundaries so important?

Well, this is best explained by explaining the boundaries that you already have firmly set in your head without even thinking about it.

The boundaries you already have

I think it would be generally safe to say that the house/flat which you own/rent you’d consider to be “yours”, you live there, your stuff is there and you spend the majority of your time there. If one day whilst the front door was open a stranger walked in and sat on your sofa and started watching Netflix you’d quite rightly be freaked out and ask them to leave.

This unlikely scenario is an easy example of boundary which you already have, you know how to maintain it (keep the door shut) and you know how to defend it (ask people to leave, call the police etc).

I appreciate this is a weird example but it is very easy to understand.

This is an example of a physical boundary.

Here’s another.

When a private number calls you and you don’t answer, that is an example of a communication boundary.

The boundary is that you only answer the phone to people you know, you maintain it by not answering your phone and you defend it by blocking/reporting the number as spam.

In terms of structure this is actually no different to deciding whether you are going to put up with someone talking down to you or any other boundary you might want to set.

The application is the same, just the boundary itself changes.

Let’s be clear on exactly what a boundary is though.....

********************************************************

Links mentioned in the video:

How to Apologise Less: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3jqIVTkd_Q

How to be more self-confident: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXpcTwiBkTE

How to increase self-esteem: https://bit.ly/gystselfesteem

Book a free 1-on-1 call with me: https://bit.ly/bookgyst