Show Notes
When I was living with chronic pelvic pain, I believed that if I had symptoms, I was suffering. It felt impossible to enjoy my life or loosen my urgency to heal while pain was still there. Because I felt like I was always suffering.
In this episode, I share what changed when I began to see that pain and suffering, while often experienced together, aren’t inseparable. Using the parable of the two arrows, we’ll explore the pain itself and the stories, fear, and resistance that can add another layer of suffering on top of it.
The pain is real. It can be intense, exhausting, and scary. And even when you can’t choose whether it’s there, you may have more choices in how you respond and what else you allow yourself to experience than you realize.
If you’re finding that this makes sense in theory but you want support applying it to your own body and life, this is the work we do inside Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain. You’ll have access to a self-paced curriculum, weekly live group coaching, and a private Q&A podcast where you can submit your questions.
Learn more about Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain.
Resources: Learn more about 1:1 coaching Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan
Follow me on Instagram: @thepelvicpaincoach
More from Heal Your Chronic Pelvic Pain
What can you do when a pain flare is loud, uncomfortable, and not something you can make stop in the moment? A building fire alarm kept going off for two weeks, sometimes during coaching calls and sometimes in the middle of the night. The experience reminded me of what it was like to live with chronic pelvic pain: knowing what was happening didn’t make the sensations disappear, and I couldn’t always change the situation right away. In this episode, I share how I supported myself through those moments, from putting in earbuds so I could keep coaching to noticing the comfort of my bed while I waited for the alarm to turn off. We talk about acknowledging discomfort without pretending it isn’t there, choosing what might support you, and considering whether you want to take a values-aligned action or rest. There’s no right or wrong choice. For me, showing up for the things I cared about, even when my symptoms were intense, supported my sense of agency. Your choice may look different. The invitation is to ask what you need and how you want to spend the time while you wait for the flare to pass. In this episode: Why knowing a symptom is a false alarm doesn’t always make the discomfort go away
If you've ever frozen on the exam table, or spent the drive home replaying everything you wish you'd said, this episode is for you. For so many of us with chronic pelvic pain, gynecologist visits are part of the recovery journey. And they can be really hard, both physically and emotionally. Many providers aren't trained in trauma-informed care or familiar with conditions like vaginismus and vulvodynia, which means it often falls on us to speak up for what we need. In this episode, I'm sharing the things I didn't know I could ask for when I was healing, so you can walk into your next appointment feeling more prepared and a little more in control. In this episode: Why telling your provider about pain with penetration out loud matters (even if it's already on your intake form)
Do you have to quit your job, leave your relationship, move, or completely restructure your life in order to heal?
Even though no one can do the healing work for you, that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.
In this episode, I’m joined by Jessie Hoffer, an associate clinical social worker at the Pain Psychology Center.