Show Notes
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I not see the red flags sooner? Narcissism and gaslighting aren’t always obvious, and some of the most damaging behaviors can be the easiest to explain away.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and toxic relationships, joins Tamsen Fadal to break down how narcissistic behavior actually shows up in relationships, why it can be so difficult to recognize, and how repeated manipulation can slowly make someone stop trusting their own instincts.
One of the most listened-to conversations on The Tamsen Show, this episode goes deep on the subtle red flags of narcissism, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, dating after divorce, and why even smart, successful, independent women can find themselves trapped in unhealthy relationships. It also explores how perimenopause, menopause, aging, sex, and changes in confidence can be weaponized by a narcissistic partner.
In this episode:
- The narcissistic red flags that are easiest to miss
- What gaslighting actually looks and feels like
- Why narcissistic relationships can be so difficult to leave
- The warning signs to watch for when dating
- How menopause and aging can be weaponized in relationships
- Why couples therapy can sometimes make a narcissistic dynamic even more confusing
For anyone who has ever been made to feel too sensitive, too emotional, too difficult, or unsure of their own reality, this is a conversation worth hearing.
If you liked this conversation, check this out: The 5 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist (I Missed Every One)
If you want a say on our upcoming guests, fill out this form
Stay connected with Tamsen:
Get Tamsen's newsletter filled with free tools to living better, feeling stronger, and knowing you’re never alone
Get Tamsen’s NYT instant bestselling book, How To Menopause
Free Resources from Tamsen
Watch all the episodes on YouTube
Follow Tamsen on Instagram
The Tamsen Show on Instagram
Follow Tamsen on TikTok
Follow Dr. Ramani on Instagram
Get Dr. Ramani's book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
Sponsors:
Book your first virtual visit today at https://tr.ee/tts-midi!
Learn more about your ad choices, click here
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
More from The Tamsen Show
Most of us have been taught that when something is not working, the answer is more discipline, more willpower, and more effort. Angela Duckworth, the University of Pennsylvania psychologist and bestselling author of Grit, built her career studying that idea. Her new book, Situated, asks us to look at everything surrounding that effort.
Is walking enough? Is Pilates enough? How heavy should you actually be lifting? If you’ve ever wondered which exercise really protects your brain as you age, especially through perimenopause and menopause, this conversation gives you the exact weekly plan.
Menopause and perimenopause can leave you with questions about belly fat, brain fog, sleep problems and whether hormone therapy could help. Your jeans fit differently. You’re losing your train of thought. You’re exhausted, but you can’t sleep. Where do you start when so much feels unfamiliar?
Why do we keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners? And why is it so hard to break unhealthy relationship patterns, even when we know better? In this episode of The Tamsen Show, dating and relationship expert Sabrina Zohar joins Tamsen Fadal to explain anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, relationship anxiety, and how childhood experiences shape the way we love, date, and connect with others.
Women learn early which parts of themselves make other people comfortable. After enough years, that performance can begin to feel like our identity, and the intuition underneath it goes quiet.