
Show Notes
In this raw birthday episode, Sabrina gets honest about the hidden cost of personal growth and what nobody warns you about when you actually start doing the work. From losing friends who only knew the old version of you, to grieving the identity you outgrew on purpose, to realizing success doesn't fix your insecurities or quiet your anxiety, this is the unfiltered truth about healing that the self-help world skips over. If you've ever wondered why your "best year ever" also feels like the loneliest, this episode explains exactly why, backed by Harvard research on identity loss during major life change.
Tune in for an honest conversation about why healing isn't linear, why setting boundaries can push away people you love, why guilt shows up when you start choosing yourself, and how to sit in the uncomfortable in-between when your old life doesn't fit but your new one doesn't feel like yours yet. Plus, Sabrina shares a powerful Identity Inventory tool to track how far you've actually come, the "for now" reframe that interrupts catastrophic thinking, and why corrective experiences rewire your nervous system. Essential listening for anyone in their growth era, working through attachment patterns, navigating self-abandonment, or questioning whether they're doing this healing thing right.
Sparkle outfit thanks to Hand Over
Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!
Get Ad free HERE!
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Please support our sponsors!
Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/SABRINA — and using our link helps support the show.
=============================
Chapters:
00:00 The Hidden Cost of Growth
04:25 Why Growth Is So Lonely
09:29 Grieving Old Versions of You
14:21 Why Success Doesn't Fix You
17:46 Anxiety in Healthy Relationships
19:46 The For Now Reframe
21:48 Boundaries Hurt People You Love
23:07 Why Healing Isn't Linear
25:21 Sitting in the In-Between
26:40 Identity Inventory Tool
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from The Sabrina Zohar Show
Love Is Blind UK star Tom Stroud sets the record straight on his reality TV villain edit, including why Netflix made him reshoot the altar scene. He shares how therapy after the show led him to build Shoulder to Shoulder, a men’s community tackling the male loneliness epidemic, and he and Sabrina get honest about men’s mental health, why so many men avoid therapy, and why shaming men for their feelings only pushes them further away.Tom also opens up about his father wound, losing his dad before they could reconcile, and what his relationship has taught him about conflict, anger, and emotional safety. Plus: why men need male friendships, red flags that look like green flags, scheduling sex in a busy relationship, and what women and men need to understand about each other.Come see me on tour! https://sabrinazohar.com/tourOrder Sabrina's book, "Why Am I Like This?"Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quizIf you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!Product of the week! https://amzn.to/4v1eHWjGet Ad free HERE! Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Why do you keep checking if they watched your story, waiting for your ex to text, or feeling bored the moment someone is actually good to you? In this science-heavy episode, Sabrina breaks down the neuroscience of attachment and repeating relationship patterns: why your brain gets hooked on hot and cold people like a slot machine, why healthy relationships can feel boring, why you can’t get over your ex, and why you self-sabotage the moment you get what you wanted.
It’s pub day for Why Am I Like This?, and Sabrina’s mom Helly joins the show to talk honestly about Sabrina’s old dating patterns: texting nonstop, chasing emotionally unavailable men, people pleasing, and losing herself trying to make someone love her. Helly shares the advice she gave Sabrina for years, like “be careful what you wish for” and “you have to love yourself more than you need to be loved,” and explains why choosing yourself is where real change starts.
Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't heal anxious attachment, how childhood patterns follow you into dating and relationships, and what Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation study shows about anxious and avoidant attachment: avoidants feel the panic too, they just hide it.
Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.