Show Notes
This episode starts with a simple question: What exactly is a human being? Not what are our symptoms. Not what's our diagnosis. Not what's our attachment style. What are we? The more time I spend in the field of psychology, the more I realize something important: psychology is very good at describing pain. It's somewhat capable of helping people heal. But when it comes to personhood—to human dignity, worth, identity, and why any of it matters—it gets strangely quiet. So in this episode, I'm comparing two very different views of what it means to be human: modern psychology and Christianity. One sees us primarily as biological, psychological, and social organisms. The other says we're something much more. We're going to talk about identity, consciousness, human nature, suffering, healing, and the question underneath all of it: Why does a human being have dignity in the first place? Because if therapy helps people reclaim their personhood—and I believe it does—then sooner or later we have to ask where personhood came from. It's a little philosophical. It's a little theological. It's definitely psychological. And if you're willing to think with me for an hour, I think you'll find the question is far more important than it first appears. Write us a message about the podcast: https://www.vanessabentley.co/contact This podcast is: Produced: Jared Bentley and Madison Thompson Music: Vanessa Bentley Arrangement: Winston Philip
More from The Work of Being Human
Everyone's favorite dysfunctional personality type is back: NARCISSISM. But are we actually helping people understand narcissism, or are we teaching them to label, manipulate, and dehumanize people they find difficult? Today, I'm responding to a viral video from a Christian counselor offering a "7-second test" to expose a Christian narcissist. Her advice? Ask a pointed question, sing "Happy Birthday" in your head, and watch what happens.
What if the way we think about mental health is actually making things worse?
We’ve heard about toxic masculinity until we’re blue in the face. But what about TOXIC FEMININITY? In this episode, I’m turning the lens toward us women and asking what happens when the very qualities that make femininity powerful become tools for gaining power over other people. I explore the natural flexibility, responsiveness, creativity, and nurturing capacity of the feminine—and how those strengths can become distorted when we move from responding to reality to trying to control it. Using the Karpman Drama Triangle, I look at three dysfunctional roles we can move between: victim, rescuer, and persecutor. Each one may look different, but all three can become strategies for gaining power in relationships. And women can move between them remarkably quickly: helpless in one moment, morally superior in another, and rescuing someone else... all before lunch! This isn’t an argument against femininity. Quite the opposite. I want women to recover what is genuinely powerful about being female without turning our vulnerability, nurture, emotionality, or adaptability into weapons. Face reality. Embrace humanity. This is The Work of Being Human.
ADHD isn't a good enough explanation... Paul Drayton was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021. Like many people, receiving the diagnosis brought relief. Experiences and behaviors that had confused him for years suddenly had a name.But does giving something a name explain it?In this conversation, I wanted to try something different. Instead of interpreting Paul through the diagnosis, I wanted to understand HIM.So we moved away from the label and into his life.We talked about the sensitive little boy who sometimes escaped the noise of his home. A family where emotions weren’t easily expressed. A teenager whose mind wouldn’t quiet down. Alcohol. Addiction. Creativity. Impulsivity. Relationships. And a deeply human desire to be heard and understood.And the further we moved away from the diagnosis, the more interesting the conversation became.We also examine what we actually know about ADHD, what we don't know, and the difference between identifying a collection of behaviors and establishing their cause.This isn't about replacing one reductive explanation with another.I simply refuse to reduce a human being to one in the first place.Paul is not "ADHD."He is a man with a history, relationships, wounds, strengths, choices, adaptations, longings, and a story still being written.And, like every one of us, he is infinitely more interesting than a diagnosis could ever account for.Paul Drayton is an actor and author of Ride — Or Die Trying.Click subscribe to follow the show!Follow me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/Follow the show: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/Paul's book: https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Die-Trying-Before-Laughter/dp/B0HDR233Q9/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.zbHEfHT7LWcK5skFtpnfetf2njpzYJGzMI6RJNu1CPpuD5HHsQjOh90A5MEFcA0xH3moj6EYSJ9y00dLLQ71rHc0ARZH9Qg04Yb57OK4wc8M8guK4rxDGn2jKNsggHDjlb9UXuyUB4xDRErXjDrauCiZ4SnmlsS45HtjoLyljj7cVOd7nU7tGGSGGzPb2zLu5-FPsc6xieqIVkY7LpgxRVYYS0qG-f4kSd5X3tCo9hs.ywH5bmWrV2VuQCVSm_epW66i1Kr9WKadQIPBtYjw5Dg&qid=1789350621&sr=1-1