Episode 92: When Your Ex Doesn't Believe in ADHD with Carolyn Tate

What happens when you can see your child needs support, and the other parent doesn’t believe ADHD is real?

In this episode of the ADHD Families Podcast, Sharon Collon sits down with Carolyn Tate, former parenting and health journalist, late-diagnosed ADHDer and founder of Women’s Divorce Academy. Over seven years, Carolyn has helped close to a thousand women through separation and divorce.

Carolyn shares her own story: the New Year’s Eve she knew her marriage was over, the overwhelm that stretched her divorcex out for years, and the two and a half years it took to get her daughter assessed and supported when her ex-husband wasn’t on board.

This is a practical conversation about co-parenting a child with ADHD after separation. No villains, no court battles. Just how to advocate for your child, when to stop trying to convince the other parent, how to handle two homes with two sets of rules, and how to look after yourself when you’re carrying most of the load.

If you’re separated, divorcing or thinking about it, and parenting a child with ADHD, this episode gives you a clear place to start.

👀 In This Episode, Sharon Covers

✅ Advocating for an ADHD diagnosis when your ex doesn’t accept it ✅ When to stop trying to convince the other parent and put that energy into your child ✅ What Carolyn’s ADHD gave her through separation ✅ Parallel parenting when you can’t co-parent together ✅ Two homes, two sets of rules: what you can and can’t control ✅ Why kids with ADHD are more adaptable than we give them credit for ✅ The financial disadvantage women face in divorce ✅ The biggest mistake Carolyn sees women make (taking legal advice from their ex) ✅ Where to put your energy when you’re carrying the invisible load ✅ Preventing burnout as a separated mum ✅ The unexpected positives women find twelve months on

This episode shares general information and lived experience, not legal advice. Please seek advice specific to your situation.

⏱️ Episode Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and why this episode 01:37 Meet Carolyn Tate 01:51 The moment Carolyn knew her marriage was ending 03:20 Overwhelm, delay and the undiagnosed ADHD brain 04:06 What ADHD gave Carolyn through separation 05:00 Carolyn’s work and Women’s Divorce Academy 06:12 The divorce disadvantage for women 08:06 Advocating for a diagnosis the other parent doesn’t accept 11:03 Why ADHD divides families 12:21 Parallel parenting after diagnosis 13:16 Advice when your ex rejects the diagnosis 16:05 Two homes, two sets of rules 17:32 Kids already navigate different rules every day 18:05 The biggest pain points women bring to divorce 19:29 What Carolyn would tell her past self 21:35 Where to put your limited energy 23:15 Looking after the mum 25:55 The unexpected positives of divorce 28:09 Women’s biggest fears about divorce 30:37 Support to call in 33:30 Final thoughts

Key Takeaways

Put your child at the centre of every decision, and let that guide where your energy goes.

You can’t force the other parent to agree. Be clear about your next steps and follow through.

Consistency in one home is enough. Build systems that work in yours.

Children are better off without ongoing conflict. Divorce itself isn’t what harms them.

Get advice early and build your support network. You don’t have to carry it alone.

Never take legal or financial advice from your ex.

Self-care is listening to what you need right now, not ticking another box.

What’s Coming? 👀 👀

Create a School Holiday Plan for Your ADHD Family

Six weeks off, no school structure, and a child whose brain runs on routine. This one-hour live workshop is for parents of children with ADHD who want the summer break planned before it starts.

We build your plan together, on the day:

Your daily rhythm for the holidays

Your activity jars, ready to go

A screen time approach the whole family can live with

Tuesday 10 November, 1.00pm to 2.00pm AEDT, live on Zoom Your School Holiday Plan Pack arrives Saturday 7 N