Show Notes
In this episode, I’m answering a listener question I hear all the time: What does low demand actually look like?
I walk through the foundations of low demand parenting by breaking it down into a clear, practical process—using real-life examples to show how we identify what’s too hard, drop demands that aren’t doable, and increase accommodations in ways that actually bring relief. I explain how low demand isn’t about “giving up” or being permissive, but about attuning to capacity—our kids’ and our own—and responding with intention instead of force.
I also introduce the six-step low demand process, unpack how demands work like a layer cake (surface demand → expectation → adult need), and share how learning to truly listen to our kids’ communication changes everything.
If you’ve ever felt confused, overwhelmed, or unsure whether you’re “doing low demand right,” this episode is meant to give you clarity, structure, and reassurance that there is a path through this.
More from Low Demand Parenting
In Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Katherine Olson, we deep dive into PDA and why so many of the strategies we're told to use can backfire for PDA kids. We talk about autonomy, neuroception, connection, and the invisible energy underneath our words—and why relationship is probably the most powerful intervention we have.
In this first part of a deep dive into PDA from a professional's lens, I’m talking with Dr. Katherine Olson, a clinical psychologist with extensive training in autism, early childhood intervention, and neurodevelopment. But Katie is also a parent who had to completely rethink what she thought she knew clinically, when her own child didn't fit the frameworks she'd been trained to use. Next week we'll talk more about the definition of PDA itself and why so many common parenting strategies fail so spectacularly for PDAers.
Listen in as I talk with somatic coach and artist Jo Kelly about what happens when we practice truly trusting our children (and ourselves) for the long haul. Jo shares her experience stepping away from traditional schooling and choosing a radically child-led educational path for her children, who are now young adults, including what she learned about feeling our feelings, self-trust, curiosity, and the ways children flourish when we release the expectation of conformity. We talk about how conditioning teaches us to disconnect from our own bodies and feelings, why so many of us struggle to trust our instincts as parents, and what it can look like to create a life where our children are allowed to follow their interests, honor their needs, advocate for themselves, and become who they already are. What if our work isn't to fix or heal our children, but to stop interrupting the incredible humans they already are?
Esther Jones is a long-time unschooling parent who joins me to talk about how kids learn, how we can support learning, and what it looks like to truly trust our kids in their own educational journey. A rich conversation for people regardless of your schooling approach, Esther embodies a conviction that learning is our kids' native state, and that all we have to create a open, trusting, collaborative space, and they will learn in abundance!