How and WHY a Doctor Missed Her Daughter's ADHD

Looking for further guidance and support on ADHD Women's Wellbeing? Check out my resource library here. The 'ADHD Women's Wellbeing Workshop Series' is on offer this July. Head here to learn more about the workshops and use code JULY to get 35% off. If you've ever wondered why it took so long to get answers, for yourself or for your daughter, this episode is going to feel very familiar. On this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, I'm joined by Dr Olivia Kessel, a former medical doctor who graduated from the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland and began her career in the trauma unit at Johannesburg General Hospital. Olivia is now the host of the SEND Parenting Podcast and has spoken at the UK House of Lords on patient-centred care, appeared on BBC Radio and BBC Sounds, and addressed healthcare professionals and policy leaders on neurodiversity. She is also the mother of Alexandra, fourteen, who has mild cerebral palsy, dyslexia and ADHD, and the author of Beyond the Label: Empowering Parents of ADHD Girls. In this episode, Olivia shares the remarkable and deeply personal journey that took her from practising medicine across three continents to founding the SEND Parenting community, after years of not recognising ADHD in her own daughter despite her medical background. We talk about why girls are still being diagnosed four to five years later than boys, how emotional dysregulation, masking and internalised struggles are so often missed, and what parents can actually do when they find themselves navigating a system that wasn't built for their child. In this episode, we cover:

Why girls with ADHD are still being diagnosed four to five years later than boys, and what needs to change

How ADHD can present in girls as anxiety, people pleasing and internalised struggle rather than hyperactivity

Why 52% of people with dyslexia also have ADHD, and why the two should never be looked at in isolation

The emotional dysregulation that doesn't appear in the DSM diagnostic criteria, and why that matters

Why Olivia, as a doctor, still missed her daughter's ADHD for years

How the EHCP process almost broke her, and why it shouldn't be this hard for any family

The four wheels that need to be running for an ADHD brain to thrive: medication, nutrition, sleep and school support

Why early screening for neurodivergence in schools would benefit every child, not just those who are neurodivergent

How Olivia's daughter Alexandra went from chaos to making cottage pie by herself after finally getting the right support

What parents can bring to their GP to start asking the right questions

Discover other ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast parenting-related episodes here. Timestamps: 00:00 - Welcome, and introducing Dr Olivia Kessel 01:44 - Olivia's career: from South Africa to Swaziland to the UK 08:55 - The EHCP process, and why it almost broke her 10:16 - How a former medical doctor missed her daughter's ADHD diagnosis 12:19 - Why girls are diagnosed so much later than boys 14:19 - How ADHD presents differently in girls: internalisation, anxiety and masking 16:27 - Dyslexia, ADHD and autism: why they rarely travel alone 18:17 - Sleep, emotional regulation and the things the DSM leaves out 22:06 - What changes when families finally understand their child's diagnosis 24:34 - Parenting with a neuroaffirming lens: Kate's own experience 27:06 - How Alexandra has grown in her own self-awareness at fourteen 30:26 - Why so many neurodivergent people were always there, just hiding 34:27 - Screens, social media and navigating this as an ADHD parent 40:19 - Why schools should teach every child as if they were neurodivergent 43:30 - Olivia's book Beyond the Label, her podcast and her ADHD mum community 45:33 - Why patients are currently leading the doctors on neurodiversity Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website here.

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod

Visit Oliv