Karen Salmansohn on finding humor in life's heaviness, identity-based habits, and your to-die-for life
Out Of The CloudsShow Notes
In this episode of Out of the Clouds, host Anne Mühlethaler welcomes Karen Salmansohn, a bestselling author who has sold over 2 million books globally and describes herself as someone who puts "Psychology Today and Mad Magazine in a blender and presses frappé." Known for writing self-help books for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help and pioneering the self-help book with attitude—she was the first personal development author to put a curse word in a book title with "How to Be Happy, Dammit"—Karen brings her signature blend of wisdom and wit to every conversation. In her interview with Anne, Karen speaks about how her journey from senior VP creative director in advertising to bestselling author began with a bold leap of faith driven by pure passion. After achieving early success in advertising (including winning a Clio in her first six months on the job), she realised she wanted to write a novel. After threatening to quit, she finally did. Karen shares the story of how this bold decision led to a remarkable career spanning novels, self-help books, and everything in between. After her first novel, she started to pen books meant to inspire people to think in new ways, which she found more fulfilling than writing copy to convince the same people to switch toothpaste brands. Next Anne and Karen explore the inspiration behind Karen's latest book, "Your To-Die-For Life," which emerged from both her experience of "near-life experiences" (being life-adjacent rather than fully present) and the profound impact of her father's death. Karen shares how giving her father's eulogy prompted her to write her own, which led to a thorough reassessment of her priorities and inspired her to move from working in "beast mode" to what she now calls "best mode." The discussion delves deep into Karen's practical framework for living intentionally, including her seven core values that she reverse-engineered from the top regrets of the dying (Authentic, Brave, Curious, Discerning, Empathic Love, Fun, and Gratitude). Karen also explains her powerful concept of identity-based habits and "to-die lists"—daily practices that help align your actions with who you want to become, using the format "I am [core value] and so I do [action]." One of the most compelling parts of their conversation centers on Karen's marble jar ritual—a tangible way to practice mortality awareness with each marble representing a remaining month of life, creating a monthly ritual of reflection and intentional living. Karen describes herself as a "middle of life doula:" someone helping people create meaningful change while there's still a runway ahead. Throughout the interview, Karen demonstrates her gift for making profound concepts accessible through humor and practical tools. From her early days writing silly poems about chemistry homework to helping readers navigate life's heaviness with levity, she embodies her belief that humor is a great survival tool and that we can find awe and meaning in everyday moments. The conversation touches on behavioral change, the importance of meaningful relationships, the power of curiosity as an antidote to fear, and how mortality awareness can awaken us to make each day more beautiful and purposeful. Karen's approach isn't about morbid fixation on death, but rather using awareness of life's finite nature to live more vividly and intentionally. A thoughtful and inspiring conversation that offers both practical tools and philosophical insights for anyone seeking to live more fully and authentically. Happy listening! Selected links from episode Out of the Clouds website: https://outoftheclouds.com/ Out of the Clouds on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_outoftheclouds The Mettā View website: https://avm.consulting/metta-view Anne on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annvi/ Anne on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@annvi Anne on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-v-muhlethaler/ Connect with Karen: On Instagram @notsalmon
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