
Show Notes
*This episode is a re release from a previous season. In this conversation, Monique is talking with guest family therapist Sidu Arroyo about the critical aspects of emotional regulation, particularly for those with trauma histories. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that emotions are neither good nor bad, and that self-regulation is a skill that requires practice and co-regulation with others. The discussion also addresses the feelings of guilt and shame that parents may experience when they lose control, and the significance of repairing relationships with children after emotional outbursts. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for compassion towards oneself and the importance of creating a safe environment for emotional expression. takeaways Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are experiences. Self-regulation is a skill that takes practice. Safety is essential for effective self-regulation. Co-regulation is crucial for children to learn self-regulation. Parents often struggle with guilt and shame after losing control. Repairing relationships is vital after emotional outbursts. Acknowledging emotions with compassion is important. Children need consistent support to develop emotional skills. It's okay to be human and make mistakes as a parent. This journey of emotional regulation is a process, not linear.
Sidu Arroyo: https://www.instagram.com/becomingathome/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.
https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/
SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast
Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA
Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
More from The Healing Trauma Podcast
In this rerelease conversation, returning guest therapist & author Deb Dana answers your questions. Deb delves into the Polyvagal Theory, explaining its significance in understanding the autonomic nervous system and its impact on our daily experiences. She discusses the hierarchy of the nervous system, the importance of co-regulation, and the process of befriending one's nervous system. The conversation also addresses the challenges of building capacity in a reactive system, practicing regulating tools, and navigating anxiety. She also emphasizes the need for safe connections and the role of attachment and boundaries in our relationships, providing insights into how to reshape our nervous systems for better emotional health. takeaways Polyvagal Theory helps us understand our autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system has a hierarchy of responses. Ventral state is where we experience wellbeing. Co-regulation is essential for survival and thriving. Befriending your nervous system is a process of gathering information. Building capacity in a reactive system takes time and patience. Practicing regulating tools is crucial for emotional health. Listening to your nervous system is key to understanding your needs. Safe connections are vital for healing and growth. Attachment styles influence our relationships and boundaries.
In this replay episode, Monique speaks with therapist and author Jenna Riemersma about Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and a compassionate way to work with the wounded parts of ourselves. Jenna explains why healing often starts by moving toward what we usually want to avoid, and how that shift can reduce shame, increase self-understanding, and create real internal change.They also discuss the difference between burdened parts and core self, how protective “wall” parts operate, and why healthy boundaries come from self rather than reactivity. Jenna shares a simple three-step practice called move toward: notice, know, and need.
In this mini episode, host Monique Koven explores the profound impact of attachment trauma, especially from caregivers who are frightening or unreliable. She discusses how these early experiences shape our nervous system, influence our relationships, and how understanding these patterns can foster self-compassion and healing.
All New Episode With Dr. Lindsay Gibson You Can Be The Mother You Needed : In this brand new episode, Dr. Lindsay Gibson shares her groundbreaking approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of understanding emotional maturity in children and how to foster it. Monique and Lindsay explore the dynamics of emotional immaturity, how past traumas affect parenting styles, and practical mindsets that nurture resilient, emotionally aware kids.
In this replay conversation, my guest renowned trauma expert Dr. Janina Fisher discusses her model TIST (Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment) and the concept of the living legacy of trauma, emphasizing how trauma's effects persist in the body and mind beyond past events. She explores dissociation, fragmentation, and practical approaches to healing trauma by addressing these living legacies.Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation Janina's Books Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation https://amzn.to/4uyDtMy Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4dbcHCC Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4cWI4Ci https://janinafisher.com/