Show Notes
JeaNette Smith is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who authored Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service to help couples keep their relationships strong and connected amidst demanding Church callings or busy careers. Her inspiration for the book came early in her career while her husband, Bret, was serving as a bishop, leading her to study how couples can actively grow closer rather than drift apart during intense seasons of service.
Over their years together, JeaNette and Bret have put these principles into practice across numerous callings, including three bishoprics, a branch presidency, a stake presidency, and as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic. JeaNette is a frequent contributor to Meridian Magazine and the author of two books on adolescent romance. JeaNette and Bret are the parents of four children and the grandparents of fifteen. They continue to work side by side in their family life and with their grandchildren.
Links Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service Watch the video and share your thoughts in the Zion Lab community Transcript available with the video in the Zion Lab community Highlights JeaNette explores how couples can navigate demanding Church callings without straining their relationship. Drawing on her personal background supporting her husband across various leadership roles and her professional expertise, JeaNette emphasizes that Church callings should be treated as shared, couple-centered opportunities that strengthen marriages rather than burden them. Key Insights
Viewing Callings as a Team Effort: Demanding leadership positions run much smoother and foster deeper connection when couples view the assignment as a joint effort, with the leader using their spouse as a trusted sounding board and counselor. Navigating Confidentiality Wisely: Leaders should refrain from complete emotional isolation; while specific names and details must remain private, sharing emotional burdens, general concerns, and spiritual joys keeps the couple connected and avoids emotional drift. Emotional Availability Matters Most: Marital tension rarely stems from physical absence alone; it arises when leaders become emotionally disengaged and fail to share their inner thoughts and feelings with their spouse. Prioritizing Intentional Connection: Daily practices—such as morning companionship scripture study, short check-ins, or casual dates—help maintain alignment and ensure open channels of communication. Maintaining Appropriate Motives and Boundaries: Spouses must approach confidential insights with pure motives aimed at lifting burdens rather than satisfying curiosity, while leaders must genuinely value their spouse's wisdom as an equal partner. Prioritizing Personal Self-Care: Spouses and leaders alike must prioritize self-care and personal well-being to avoid resentment and build the capacity needed to serve others effectively.
Leadership Applications
Integrate Daily Companionship Study: Leaders can establish a daily routine with their spouse to study scriptures, pray, and discuss upcoming ward or stake needs together to invite shared revelation. Share the Emotional Weight Without Oversharing: Leaders can share their personal feelings, fatigue, or spiritual insights with their spouse to process stress safely without revealing confidential names or specific details. Involve Your Spouse in Leadership Activities: Where appropriate, leaders can invite their spouses to attend youth activities, missionary setting-aparts, or stake events together to make service a fun, shared experience.
00:02:00 - Jeanette's Background Jeanette shares her personal experiences as a bishop's wife and her professional background as a marriage and family therapist.
00:04:30 - Navigating Marriage and Church Callings Discussion on how church callings can strain relationships and the importance of turning these challenges into opportunities for growth.
00:07:00 - The Importance of Communication Exploration of th
More from Leading Saints Podcast
James Fletcher is the founder and chief investment officer of Ethos Investment Management, and has been investing professionally in emerging markets for 20 years. He is also the founder of the global non-profit Young Investors Society, which provides lessons to teens on investing and financial literacy in over 3,000 high schools and 80 countries around the world. James has a bachelor’s degree in Finance from Brigham Young University and also teaches as a BYU adjunct professor in Finance. He has lived in a variety of places, from Boston to Brazil and Los Angeles to Hong Kong, and currently lives in Springville, Utah, with his wife and five children, where he serves as a bishop in the Hobble Creek Springville Utah Stake.
Brigham Young University professor and religious folklorist Christopher Blythe discusses the nature of revelation, spiritual manifestations, and claims to mysticism within Latter-day Saint history and culture. The conversation examines how members and leaders can evaluate personal spiritual experiences, navigate claims of revelation that exceed proper authority, and guard against deceptive influences or speculative practices.
Shawn Vanderhoven is the author of the USA Today bestseller Pause: How to Lead Brilliant Work in a Busy World and a Partner at The Wiseman Group, where he leads the executive development practice for senior leaders and rising talent. A collaborator on the New York Times bestseller Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter (Second Edition), Shawn co-designs strategies that help organizations amplify their people, advising leaders at companies like Amazon, Alphabet, Adobe, Microsoft, and Salesforce. He holds a BS in History from Brigham Young University and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife, Anne, dedicated to helping leaders create the conditions where teams can focus on what matters most.
Davis Smith is the founder, chairman, and emeritus CEO of Cotopaxi, a Salt Lake City–based outdoor gear brand dedicated to poverty alleviation. Raised throughout Latin America, he developed a lifelong commitment to social impact after witnessing economic inequality firsthand. A serial e-commerce entrepreneur, Davis founded several successful ventures, including Brazil’s 2012 “Startup of the Year,” before building Cotopaxi into a global brand that has assisted millions living in poverty. He has served as a Presidential Leadership Scholar and a member of the United Nations Foundation’s Global Leadership Council.
Dave McCann is a veteran sportscaster, play-by-play announcer, and television anchor with decades of broadcasting experience across regional and national media. After graduating from Brigham Young University with a degree in broadcasting, he began his career as a college sports reporter for ABC’s Good Morning America before anchoring sports in Las Vegas for nearly 20 years. He later served as an evening news co-anchor for KSL-TV in Salt Lake City and became a prominent media personality for BYUtv, hosting pre- and post-game shows alongside lead play-by-play coverage for BYU football and basketball. McCann also writes sports commentary for the Deseret News and co-hosts the digital BYU sports talk show Y’s Guys. He currently serves as an elders quorum president.