Ep. 86: What If I Ruin His Life?- The Fear, the Grooming, and the People Who Said She'd Destroy Him.
Why She StayedShow Notes
Lindsey shares the story of how her relationship slowly turned into something she didn’t recognize as abuse.
What began as the gradual normalization of cheating became a pattern of psychological grooming. Over time, he reframed betrayal as “normal,” rewrote reality, and convinced her she was the one causing harm.
He even faked medical emergencies- claiming she was causing him physical suffering from "stress" to keep her catering to him and feeling responsible for his well-being. Every conflict somehow became her fault. Every consequence felt like she was “ruining his life.”
When the abuse escalated and arrest became a possibility, people around her warned, “What if you ruin his life?” — reinforcing the guilt he had already carefully planted.
Lyndsey's IG: @lyndseyh6723 Her Podcast IG: @living.inthe.aftermath Where she serves on the board: @therefugeutah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Why She Stayed
How do we read between the lines when our abuser has gotten really good at coloring within the lines?
In this episode, Hannah shares her story of what happens when coercive control slowly changes who you are.
In this episode, I’m sharing my honest thoughts on whether the word “narcissist” may actually be setting us back when it comes to understanding abuse and coercive control.
In this episode, Helen shares her story of the subtle ways coercive control made her believe that she was the problem.
How do you know when an abuser’s “change” is actually just another form of control?