EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

189 | building a neuro-inclusive family through couples therapy with Dr. Ali

EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Show Notes

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 In this episode, Dr. Tay delves into the underexplored topic of couples therapy within the autism community, emphasizing its proactive rather than reactive use. Joined by Dr. Ali Perkinson, a neurodiverse couples therapist and licensed psychologist, the discussion covers how couples therapy can support harmonious family dynamics, understanding neurodiverse communication styles, and breaking down stigmas around couples therapy. Dr. Ali shares insights from her practice, highlighting the importance of co-regulation between parents and addressing executive functioning differences. The episode also offers practical tools such as the emotion wheel and the significance of sensory management, aiming to equip parents with strategies that can foster a more neuro-inclusive household. 00:00 Introduction to Couples Therapy in Autism Parenting 00:50 Meet Dr. Ali: Neurodiverse Couples Therapist 02:22 Understanding Neurodiverse Relationships 03:13 Communication Challenges in Neurodiverse Couples 07:15 Common Reasons Couples Seek Therapy 08:25 Proactive vs. Crisis Couples Therapy 10:56 Navigating New Autism Diagnoses as a Family 20:28 Tools and Tips for Neurodiverse Families 22:44 The Importance of Venting in Relationships 22:56 The Fixer Mentality: Strengths and Pitfalls 23:45 Alternative Date Night Ideas for Neurodiverse Couples 24:21 Co-Regulation and Physical Activities 24:54 Therapeutic Modalities for Couples 26:20 Exploring Psychedelic Therapy 30:32 Addressing Executive Dysfunction in Relationships 34:18 Understanding Neurodiverse Love Languages 38:01 The Value of Couples Therapy 40:14 Final Thoughts and Resources

RESOURCES ⚡️ connect with Dr. Ali on Instagram @connectingwithali and learn more about her practice Connection Squared

⚡️ resource to find a neurodiverse couples therapist or coach

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com

⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >> Instagram @the.dr.tay TikTok @the.dr.tay

More from EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Oct 21, 2026

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode wraps up our three-part series on autistic burnout. dr. tay is joined by amanda diekman, author of The Parent's Handbook for Kids in Burnout, to talk about what burnout recovery can actually look like over time and why healing is rarely linear. amanda breaks down the phases of burnout, how support needs change across each phase, what “deep rest” can look like for kids, and why parents may need to continually recalibrate between accommodation, capacity-building, safety, and trust.

Oct 14, 2026

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode is part 2 of our autistic burnout series. dr. tay is joined by patrick casale, a neurodivergent therapist, podcaster, entrepreneur, and group practice owner, for a conversation about what autistic burnout can feel like . patrick shares his lived experience with burnout, the overlap between autistic burnout and chronic illness, the impact of societal demands, and why recovery is rarely as simple as “just reduce demands” or “take a break.” this conversation offers both validation and practical insight for parents who are trying to better understand their child’s burnout, support recovery, and recognize early warning signs before the nervous system fully crashes.

Oct 7, 2026

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode kicks off a three-part series on autistic burnout. dr. tay shares what she sees clinically when autistic kids are in burnout, why it can be so confusing for parents, and why traditional approaches to depression, behavior, or school refusal may not fully capture what is happening. this is a primer episode to help you understand what autistic burnout can look like, what makes it different, and why recovery often requires time, nervous system repair, reduced demands, and support for the whole family.

Sep 30, 2026

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if your child is melting down, resisting, avoiding, running, crashing, or seeming impossible to support, sensory may be part of the story. in this episode, dr. tay welcomes laura petix, occupational therapist and author of The Sensory Code, back to the podcast to talk about sensory regulation, sensory profiles, meltdowns, and how parents can start building sensory support into daily life in a way that actually fits their child.

Sep 17, 2026

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode is for the moms who feel like some weeks they can do it all… and other weeks everything feels harder. dr. tay shares a vulnerable, real-time reflection from the depths of her luteal phase and explains why cycle tracking can be such a powerful tool for understanding mood, energy, capacity, productivity, and parenting. because your hormonal health is not separate from your autism parenting journey. your body, your nervous system, your capacity, and your regulation are all part of the ecosystem your child is living in. you’ll hear about: why the luteal phase can impact mood, energy, and capacity how cycle tracking can help reduce shame and increase self-understanding the connection between hormones, mental health, and neurodivergence why parenting often requires so much “output” energy how to adjust expectations, support, and routines around your cycle why your capacity matters in the whole-family support picture

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