
Show Notes
You've done the therapy, read the books, and know your attachment style... so why does nothing change? In part 2 of the Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you cannot heal your way out of incompatibility. Drawing on real research, she unpacks how to tell the difference between a wrong match and relationship anxiety, why therapy language can become a cage that keeps you stuck, and the line between actual growth and emotional gymnastics.
If you've stayed way past the expiration date convinced the work would eventually pay off, this episode is for you. Sabrina covers the fear-of-being-single trap, why your anxiety isn't always an attachment wound, and introduces the Responsibility Audit. Some relationships don't fail because you're broken, they fail because two people want fundamentally different things.
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!
Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Please support our sponsors!
Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, and doesn’t break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com/SABRINA and sign up as a VIP and get eighty percent off everything!
Go to IM8HEALTH.com/SABRINA and use code SABRINA for a Free Welcome Kit, five free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SABRINA at https://www.oneskin.co/SABRINA #oneskinpod
=============================
Chapters
00:00 Hard Truth Series Part 2 Intro
03:14 The Self-Improvement Trap
05:33 Anxiety or a Bad Match?
08:03 When Self-Work Becomes Self-Blame
11:40 Compatibility Is Not a Wound
17:16 What Doing the Work Can't Fix
24:32 When Therapy Speak Keeps You Stuck
26:42 Growth vs. Emotional Gymnastics
31:11 The Knowing vs. Leaving Gap
34:10 The Responsibility Audit Tool
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from The Sabrina Zohar Show
Love Is Blind UK star Tom Stroud sets the record straight on his reality TV villain edit, including why Netflix made him reshoot the altar scene. He shares how therapy after the show led him to build Shoulder to Shoulder, a men’s community tackling the male loneliness epidemic, and he and Sabrina get honest about men’s mental health, why so many men avoid therapy, and why shaming men for their feelings only pushes them further away.Tom also opens up about his father wound, losing his dad before they could reconcile, and what his relationship has taught him about conflict, anger, and emotional safety. Plus: why men need male friendships, red flags that look like green flags, scheduling sex in a busy relationship, and what women and men need to understand about each other.Come see me on tour! https://sabrinazohar.com/tourOrder Sabrina's book, "Why Am I Like This?"Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quizIf you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!Product of the week! https://amzn.to/4v1eHWjGet Ad free HERE! Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Why do you keep checking if they watched your story, waiting for your ex to text, or feeling bored the moment someone is actually good to you? In this science-heavy episode, Sabrina breaks down the neuroscience of attachment and repeating relationship patterns: why your brain gets hooked on hot and cold people like a slot machine, why healthy relationships can feel boring, why you can’t get over your ex, and why you self-sabotage the moment you get what you wanted.
It’s pub day for Why Am I Like This?, and Sabrina’s mom Helly joins the show to talk honestly about Sabrina’s old dating patterns: texting nonstop, chasing emotionally unavailable men, people pleasing, and losing herself trying to make someone love her. Helly shares the advice she gave Sabrina for years, like “be careful what you wish for” and “you have to love yourself more than you need to be loved,” and explains why choosing yourself is where real change starts.
Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't heal anxious attachment, how childhood patterns follow you into dating and relationships, and what Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation study shows about anxious and avoidant attachment: avoidants feel the panic too, they just hide it.
Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.