Show Notes
Reframing ‘Otherness’: A Conversation with Lana Manikowski In our latest episode, we talk with author and coach Lana Manikowski about the experience of being “othered” as a woman without children. Lana describes how years of infertility led her to a new purpose: helping others define their lives beyond parenthood. She speaks openly about shame, resilience, and the importance of investing in yourself — whether that means therapy, journaling, or creating community. Lana also shares the story of founding Others Day Brunch, an annual event that offers connection and celebration for those who feel isolated around Mother’s Day. Lana Manikowski is an author, certified life coach, and infertility advocate dedicated to helping women thrive after infertility. She is the founder of The Other’s Day Brunch and host of The ‘So Now What?’ Podcast, creating spaces where childless women feel seen, understood, and empowered. After a seven-year journey through fertility treatments that ended without a child, Lana experienced the isolation, self-judgment, and grief of navigating a future she never planned for. When she couldn’t find the support she needed, she built it herself. Now, through her coaching, advocacy efforts, and community outreach, she helps women rediscover their relevance, connection, and purpose beyond motherhood. With an advanced coaching certification in grief and post-traumatic growth, Lana helps women process the loss of the dream of motherhood and move forward with intention. Her coaching program, Thrive After Infertility, guides women in rebuilding relationships and creating meaningful milestones that bring fulfillment in the decades ahead. Her book So Now What?, a #1 New Release on Amazon, offers a transformative roadmap for embracing life beyond infertility, helping women reclaim joy, meaning, and a sense of belonging without the children longed for. A sought-after speaker and media contributor, Lana is known for her powerful message: your story isn’t over, it’s just beginning. She lives in downtown Chicago with her husband and their furbaby, Coco.
Download The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond). It ties perfectly into our conversation about othering because people with kids often love to offer suggestions for what we should be doing to achieve parenthood instead of acknowledging that we have already done what we are capable of. We know our bodies, our journeys, and our limits when it comes to what we choose to do or not do. I am also teaching a free masterclass on this in September. You can get the free guide here: So Now What?, my first book, came out in April. Berenice wrote one of the endorsements and Jody Day wrote the foreword. So Now What? is about creating a life you love without the children you always dreamed of. It is the guide I wish my fertility clinic had offered me when my seven years of IVF ended without a baby. There’s a free giveaway with a download of Jody’s foreword and Chapter 1, which shares the story of the day I got the call from my doctor telling me my last and only frozen embryo was chromosomally abnormal. Download your copy from my website.
More from The Full Stop
We're joined by two researchers, Dr Nicola Spurling and Professor Cristina Archetti, for a conversation that goes right to the heart of why the Full Stop exists. Nicola is a sociologist at Lancaster University who's turned her attention to childlessness. Cristina is a professor, psychotherapist, and the author of two books on involuntary childlessness, including her brand-new release, The Trauma of Infertility. Together they talk about what it really means to bring your story into your research, why childlessness isn't a single moment but a process that runs through an entire life Meet Our Guests Nicola Spurling Senior Lecturer in Sociology, Lancaster University "In my current work I explore how, over the past fifteen years, childless people have increasingly used autobiography and storytelling to share experiences, develop knowledge and make sense of childless lives collectively. I'm interested in what happens when social researchers take that knowledge seriously — not simply as material for research about childlessness, but as something that can raise new questions and reshape what researchers think it is important to study." 🔗 Nicola's Lancaster University profile 📄 Nicola's papers (both open access — free to read). A note for listeners: these are written for an academic audience, so the language is quite dense, especially in the opening sections. Nicola is happy to answer any questions if you'd like to dig in.
What if the question "why don't you have children?" was one you spent your doctorate trying to answer for yourself? That's exactly what Dr Naomi Menahem did. And what she found wasn't the misery she'd half expected. It was something nuanced and defiant, and ultimately more hopeful. In Episode 89, Naomi joins us from Byron Bay to share her research on circumstantial childlessness, the concept of the Deferral Iceberg, and why she's chosen "robust pragmatism" over the quiet resignation of "acceptance." She also tells us about Childless Conversation — her new monthly in-person gathering for women who've been silent for too long.
In this episode, Michael, Sarah and Berenice are joined by poet Kate Smith — known on Instagram as Millie the Poet and writing under the name Kathryn Millington — to talk about her poetry pamphlet Imprint (Fawn Press), which explores childlessness, IVF and grief. Kate reads three poems live on the episode and talks candidly about her own fertility journey, the process of writing about deeply personal experience, and what it's meant to bring that work into the world. Meet our Guest Kathryn ‘Millie ’Millington is a poet, performer and activist based in Sheffield. She ran the poetry charity ‘Nine Lives Poetry’, creating a stage for emerging local poets. Millie’s poetry tells us a story of grief as a result of involuntary childlessness. It takes us on a journey “…into a world that feels niche, but is anything but…” (Wendy Pratt), to a place of acceptance of a future without children and ultimately a creative and fulfilling life. “You will know someone like me. We are everywhere: at your workplace, within your family, and your friendship groups. It’s such a lonely place. I want to inhabit that place and be that voice, to show that we can create.” Millie has shared the stage with Helen Mort, Michael Pedersen, Toria Garbutt and Leyla Josephine. Her poem ‘Imprint’ was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize. Her debut Pamphlet ‘Imprint’ received praise from Benjamin Zephaniah "I have no words, because you've used them all". Millie is published by Fawn Press and her poetry is available to buy online. You can also buy direct from her, pop her a message via Instagram @milliethepoet or email Recommended Books About Poetry/becoming a creative person
Katy Schnitzler returns to The Full Stop five years on — now fresh off submitting her PhD — to dig into one of the thorniest workplace issues for people who are childless not by choice: holidays, leave, and boundaries. The conversation moves from the personal (the strange non-celebration of finishing a PhD, the "full stop" feeling of an ending without ceremony) into the structural: school-holiday leave bias, rota and shift unfairness, "informal favours" for parents, and the particular pressures faced by teachers, midwives and nurses who are childless. Katy shares findings from her doctoral research and her Pronatalism at Work project, and the group works through practical, non-judgemental ways organisations can make leave, language and culture fairer for everyone, without taking anything away from parents. We're talking about ...
Seven years ago, Michael hit record, Sarah spoke and Berenice published episode 1 of the Full Stop pressed publish on the first episode. It was 20 minutes and 20 seconds long. There were 108 downloads. And neither of us had any idea what we were doing. Episode 86 brings us together to mark seven years of honest conversation about childless life. Join us to listen back, reflect, and look forward. In this episode: