Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix

What happens when you work hard towards something and don't get the outcome you hoped for? In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Chris Rodgers-Wilson reflects on the experience of watching others get opportunities you'd have liked yourself. It's something that can happen at any level, and it's easy to start measuring yourself against other people's success. I pick up on an important point from Chris: outcomes depend on lots of factors, and not all of them are within our control. Yet when we don't get the role, promotion or recognition we wanted, it's easy to turn that disappointment into a judgement about ourselves. Here's something to try: Think about a recent disappointment at work. What have you made it mean about yourself? And what else might be true? You can take your work seriously without treating every outcome as a verdict on your worth. Listen to the full episode with Chris - The stories we dance through - wherever you get your podcasts. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. In collaboration with Contextual Consulting I'm running an ACT in the Workplace: Train the Trainer Programme in February 2027. If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace - then please check out all the details here. The early bird prices run until 5 November and if you use the code WORK20 - you'll receive an extra 20% discount. Chris on Linkedin Chris on Instagram Chris on substack Chris' website

What happens when the work that has shaped your identity begins to change? How do you keep hold of a sense of self in a world built around performance, comparison and high expectations? And how do we support each other when life brings experiences that are difficult to talk about at work? In this episode of People Soup, I'm joined by Chris Rodgers-Wilson, who spent much of his working life as a professional ballet dancer, performing with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. These days, his work brings together psychology, coaching and supporting dancers as they navigate their careers and life beyond the stage. Chris takes us back to the moment a five-year-old boy watched Romeo and Juliet on VHS and was completely transported by the dancing, storytelling and music. That early fascination eventually took him to the Royal Ballet School in London and a career on stage. But this conversation goes well beyond ballet. We explore the pressures of high performance, the challenge of comparing ourselves with others, and the difficulty of holding on to our sense of self when we don't get the opportunities we hoped for. Chris reflects on the sudden loss of his mum, the experience of grieving while continuing to perform, and the extraordinary importance of the people who saw him, trusted him and helped him through. We also talk about perfectionism, knowing when it's time to move on, and how a moment on stage as Romeo helped Chris recognise that he might be ready for a new chapter. And Chris leaves us with a thought-provoking perspective on practice and performance: what if practice isn't simply preparation for the next performance, but a daily process that shapes who we become? In this episode, we explore: Finding your calling — and what happens when you lose touch with it. The pressures of high-performance environments and the trap of comparison. Maintaining a sense of identity when success depends partly on other people's judgements. Grief at work, and why the people around us matter so much. Perfectionism, high standards and the different expectations we place on ourselves and others. Recognising when you've reached a meaningful peak and are ready to move on. Building a new professional identity after a major career transition. Why daily practice can be about much more than preparing to perform.

When we're under pressure, it's easy to get pulled towards whatever feels easiest or most attractive right now. Put off the difficult conversation. Take the path of least resistance. Go for the quick win. But what if our values could help us see beyond what's tempting us in the moment? In this Quick Spoon, I share a short exchange with Dr Ryan Kemp about the importance of values — both in addiction recovery and in the workplace. Ryan highlights the role values can play, and I reflect on how they can give us a glimpse of the longer-term picture, rather than simply following the easiest option. Our values can remind us of the kind of person we want to be and what we're trying to move towards. So here's something to try. The next time you notice you're tempted by the short-term option, pause and ask yourself: What matters to me here in the longer term? A short reflection on values, choices and how we want to show up at work. This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction. Listen to the full conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Listen to the first part of my conversation with Ryan Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn

Can people be honest with you when things aren't going well? In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp reflects on why honest conversations about addiction depend on having an established, trusting relationship. He makes a point that applies just as much to managers as it does to professionals working with people experiencing addiction. If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, how likely is someone to admit that they're struggling? And this isn't about lowering expectations or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about creating the conditions in which people can speak honestly, even when the subject is uncomfortable. So here's something to try. Think about someone you manage or work with and ask yourself: Am I creating a relationship with this person where they'll share the difficult stuff with me? And what small step could I take in that direction? A short reflection on trust, honest conversations and the relationships we build at work. This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction. Listen to the full People Soup conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Listen to the first part of my conversation with Ryan Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn

At work, are we always rewarding what really matters? In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp talks about the different forms of reward we experience at work, pay, bonuses, praise, recognition and positive feedback and asks what happens when we derive that pleasure too quickly. It got me thinking about the pull of the quick win: getting something done, receiving the praise, solving the immediate problem or choosing the option that gives us the quickest sense of satisfaction. Sometimes that's exactly what we need. But sometimes the thing that feels most rewarding right now isn't necessarily the thing that matters most in the longer term. So here's the question: What is this moving me towards — and how might it matter in the long term? This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp about addiction, work, culture and the pull of the immediate. 🎧 Listen to the full conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn