
The Best Sex of Your Life Could Still Be Ahead of You. Here's Why with Sex Therapist Jacqueline Hellyer
Stronger Bolder WiserShow Notes
What if the "lost libido" you've been blaming on age, hormones or your relationship was never actually about desire at all?
In this episode I sit down with renowned sex and relationship therapist Jacqueline Hellyer to talk about one of the most common things I hear from women in my community: "I just don't want sex anymore." Jacqueline breaks down the myth of spontaneous desire, why so many of us have only ever known unsatisfying sex, and how real intimacy starts long before you ever get to the bedroom. It is an honest, eye opening and at times very funny conversation about reclaiming pleasure, connection and power at any age.
Timestamps Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire (00:00) The Pressure on Men Nobody Talks About (04:19) The Real Reason Humans Have Sex So Much (09:32) Why Couples Never Talk About Sex Anymore (16:38) The Connection Thermostat: Why You Need 70 Degrees Before Sex (22:10) Why Sex Gets Better After Menopause (30:15) Stop Hating Your Body: What Aging Actually Looks Like (35:17) What Men Actually Want in Bed (40:00) How to Start the Intimacy Conversation with Your Partner (45:26) Owning Your Sexual Power in Midlife (54:39)
Jacqueline Hellyer is a sex and relationship therapist with over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples build deeper intimacy and more fulfilling sex lives. She runs couples retreats and an online program called The Couples Intimacy Masterclass, and is known for her warm, no nonsense approach to topics most people are too embarrassed to talk about. Jacqueline writes a weekly essay called The Erotic Provocateur on Substack, has nearly 400 articles on her blog, and is currently working on a book of the same name.
Website: https://www.thelovelifeclinic.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacqueline.hellyer/
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Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia's leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.
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Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit? Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine. Get your free guide → https://sarahrusbatch.com/free-guide-100-things-to-do-instead-of-drinking
Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/
If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don't always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women's Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067
And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze
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Taking 30 days off alcohol in midlife rarely feels the way social media promises. Boredom, flatness and broken sleep often come first, and none of it means you're doing it wrong.In this video I share the five most unexpected things women discover in their first 30 days without wine, from the 5 to 7pm boredom to the friend who suddenly goes quiet. I explain why your brain can feel flat once alcohol stops lighting up your dopamine reward centre, and why sedation is not the same as restorative sleep. Most importantly, I explain why all of it settles.Key Topics Covered- Why boredom hits hardest between 5 and 7pm when you stop drinking, and why taking alcohol out means adding something in, like an evening walk, a class or a hobby.- Feeling flat after quitting alcohol: how years of drinking dysregulate your dopamine receptors, and why it evens out with time.- What to do when friends get weird about you not drinking, and why talking to your closest friends first helps.- Why sleep without alcohol can get worse before it gets better, and how to ride the emotional rollercoaster of the early weeks.Timestamps What Happens When You Stop Drinking For 30 Days (00:00) Thing 1: Boredom Between 5 And 7pm (00:40) Thing 2: Feeling Flat After You Stop Drinking (02:01) Thing 3: When Friends Get Weird About You Not Drinking (02:44) Thing 4: Why Sleep Gets Worse Before It Gets Better (03:37) Thing 5: Feeling Emotional Over Nothing (04:40) Free Support To Change Your Drinking (05:20)Also Watch My Previous Episodes:- Seven Signs You Are a Grey Area Drinker- Six Reasons Successful Women Are Quietly Quitting Alcohol- Three Reasons Women Cannot Metabolise Alcohol as Effectively as Men***Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.Get your free guide → https://bit.ly/4qOiGUw***Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia's leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don't always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women's Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze
Nobody walks into a marriage planning to leave it, yet so many midlife women are quietly asking whether to stay or go. Your body often knows the answer first.