220 | when therapy works in session but not at home
EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kidsShow Notes
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 your child is in therapy. you trust the therapist. you're showing up consistently. you're investing time, energy, and money. so why does it feel like nothing is changing at home? in this episode, dr. tay discusses one of the most common frustrations families experience: seeing progress in the therapy room but struggling to see those same skills transfer into everyday life. you'll learn why this happens, the role of generalization, how family dynamics and nervous systems impact change, and the one thing that can help therapists better support your family when things feel stuck. if you've ever found yourself wondering, "why isn't therapy working?" this episode is for you. in this episode, you'll hear: why therapy progress doesn't always transfer into daily life the difference between learning a skill and generalizing a skill how the home environment differs from the therapy room the role of parent regulation and the family ecosystem common reasons families get stuck despite having a great therapist practical ways to collaborate more effectively with your child's therapist a behind-the-scenes look at a new intensive support model dr. tay is exploring
timestamps 00:00 why therapy can feel stuck, even with a great therapist 04:41 the hidden challenge: skills aren't transferring home 08:40 nervous systems, co-regulation, and the realities of parenting 12:33 why changing behavior is harder than most people realize 13:39 identifying what's different between therapy and home 14:50 the family ecosystem and why supporting parents matters 18:34 radical honesty: the secret sauce for getting unstuck 25:48 a new vision for in-home intensive support 28:40 how clinical work creates more accessible resources for families 33:32 who intensive support may be right for resources ⚡️ want to learn more about this in-home intensive model? email me at [email protected] with the word "Intensive" in the subject line ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's other clinical services offered as well as her educational membership EVOLVE at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ miscellaneous resources referenced in this episode >> -episodes 189 and 215 -couples masterclass (or included for free as part of the EVOLVE membership) -autism traits guide
More from EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids
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about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode kicks off a three-part series on autistic burnout. dr. tay shares what she sees clinically when autistic kids are in burnout, why it can be so confusing for parents, and why traditional approaches to depression, behavior, or school refusal may not fully capture what is happening. this is a primer episode to help you understand what autistic burnout can look like, what makes it different, and why recovery often requires time, nervous system repair, reduced demands, and support for the whole family.
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about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode is for the moms who feel like some weeks they can do it all… and other weeks everything feels harder. dr. tay shares a vulnerable, real-time reflection from the depths of her luteal phase and explains why cycle tracking can be such a powerful tool for understanding mood, energy, capacity, productivity, and parenting. because your hormonal health is not separate from your autism parenting journey. your body, your nervous system, your capacity, and your regulation are all part of the ecosystem your child is living in. you’ll hear about: why the luteal phase can impact mood, energy, and capacity how cycle tracking can help reduce shame and increase self-understanding the connection between hormones, mental health, and neurodivergence why parenting often requires so much “output” energy how to adjust expectations, support, and routines around your cycle why your capacity matters in the whole-family support picture