Deep Dive: When Our Kids Have Different Relationships with Our Parenting Partners
What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny MomsShow Notes
This Deep Dive series revisits some of our previous episodes about dynamics with our parenting partners.
Do you feel like the odd parent out in your house? Or do your kids want only you to do everything with them all the time? A listener in our Facebook group asked:
"Is there an episode about one parent having a very different relationship with a child than the other parent? My 12yo and I seem to have a pretty functional (not perfect) relationship, but he and my hubs seem to end up arguing constantly. Thought at first it was a phase, but if it is, it’s a LOOOOONG one. Would love some perspective on this!"
Margaret and Amy discuss:
How preferential treatment plays out in younger vs. older kids
Why kids save their worst behavior for their primary caregiver
Which one of them is conflict-averse and who's conflict-attracted (one guess which is which)
Preferring one parent over the other can be developmentally appropriate, but there are times when ganging up on one parent can become too much and needs some course correction.
Links!
Our episode "When Kids Prefer the Other Parent Over You (Or You Over Them)"
Ryan C. Martin for McSweeney's: "GOOD PARENTS CAPITALIZE ON THEIR INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS. MY WIFE’S IS SEEING TO OUR KIDS’ EVERY NEED, AND MINE IS ROUGHHOUSING"
Marni Feuerman for VeryWell Family: "How to Cope With Parenting Differences"
Mariah Maddox for Motherly: "If your kids act differently with you than dad, you’re not imagining it"
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
More from What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms
Beth Gellman-Beer spent her whole career fighting for kids with disabilities — first as a student written off as “lazy,” then as a federal civil rights attorney who found her dream job protecting students like her younger self. But on one ordinary night, a phone call changed everything: Her entire office had been eliminated.
How do we handle conflict with those closest to us without damaging the relationship or going in circles? We discuss why some people avoid conflict while others escalate quickly, how our family of origin shapes the way we handle disagreements, and common triggers for starting conflicts.
What if kids didn't need chore charts and constant supervision in order to participate in the lives of their households? What if the "mental load" was seen as a family-wide issue, where everyone could contribute to the solution?
What have 10 years of doing this podcast taught us about being better parents? In this, our 1,000th episode(!), we look back at the biggest parenting lessons we’ve learned from a decade of conversing with guests, listeners, and each other.
This Deep Dive series revisits some of our previous episodes about dynamics with our parenting partners.