Revenge Is Addictive-Here’s How to Break the Cycle in Childhood Before it Begins
The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician MomShow Notes
Revenge isn’t a word we typically use when we talk about toddlers. But if you’ve ever taken something away and gotten a swat in return, you’ve seen it in action. In this episode, I sit down with James Kimmel Jr., a Yale researcher and lawyer who was the first to describe revenge as a behavioral addiction. James shares how bullying as a teen almost led him somewhere he could never take back and how that moment shaped his life’s work. We don’t need a prescription to fix this - just forgiveness - and it starts with parents modeling this at home.
We discuss:
How years of bullying as a teenager pushed James to a breaking point
What happens in the brain when we feel wronged and why revenge works like an addiction
Why a lost turn or a taken TV remote can feel huge to a child
How the urge to get even shows up as early as the toddler years
Why forgiveness is a gift to yourself, not the person who hurt you
Seeing the “bad kid” as a hurt kid who needs help managing a very natural feeling
Why kids learn forgiveness best when they see their parents doing it first
To connect with James Kimmel Jr. follow him on X @jameskimmeljr and check out all his resources at https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/. Buy his book The Science of Revenge https://link.amazon/B00csEYQV (paid link)
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