Show Notes
Happy "Erin is Situationally Sad" Day! Erin is back from Puerto Rico, and Erin is coping with the return to reality by cracking open a full sugar Red Bull and spiraling slightly. We recount a vacation miracle where no one ended up in urgent care and a New Year's Eve marked by a massive beach bonfire and a terrifying text about "intruders" in the house. We also finally get closure on the "Drive Thru Trash Can" mystery. In pop culture and sports, we discuss Erin’s refusal to watch Stranger Things because the characters are "too wet" and issue a warning about the show Dark Matter. We break down the viral race between streamer IShowSpeed and Olympic champion Letsile Tebogo, debating whether the Olympian tripped or just let him win. We also highlight a wholesome NFL moment where a trash talk attempt turned into a heartwarming compliment and review this year's most diabolical Fantasy Football punishments. Finally, we wrap up with Erin’s four step guide to curing sadness.
More from NonMembers Only
Welcome back to NonMembers Only! We kick off on National "Evaluate Your Life" Day as Erin unpacks a genuinely brutal birthday weekend. After attending a devastating funeral on Friday that left her filming brand ads with severely swollen eyes, she spent her actual birthday standing in torrential rain to run a hydration station for the LBI 18 Miler, getting so soaked her sweatpants were falling down. She also shares the hilariously unhinged greeting card her seven-year-old made for her mom after a minor tractor-trailer accident, and recounts the extreme anxiety of her first post-college job at a nanotechnology startup—which ended with her quitting on the spot after the owner screamed at them for opening a door to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning. In sports, we check in on the Pepto Pugskins fantasy football team, as Mike and Erin learn the hidden tabs for undrafted players. We also discuss the Olympic torch traveling to Hawaii in an archaic miner's safety lamp for the LA 2028 games, and formally announce that our highly anticipated trip to the Microsoft Excel Championships has been canceled due to budget cuts—though it's a blessing in disguise. We also marvel at a jump rope champion's wildly fast 30-second speed run and the terrifying flash floods that resulted in zero finishers at the grueling Moab 240 endurance race. In "Erin's Tea Time," we expose the Chinese running influencer who bragged about her Berlin Marathon PR before getting stripped of her time and dropped by her sponsors when photos proved she hitched a ride on an e-bike. We also evaluate a new fitness study proving that simple rest and sleep are just as effective as expensive "dude-bro" recovery hacks like cold plunges. We discuss a grandfather's live WWI artillery shell doorstop, celebrate 61-year-old Donna Jean Wilde's five-hour world record plank, and finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," smile at a wholesome video of 2026 Nobel Prize winner Carl Deisseroth sharing his massive optogenetics award with his ecstatic kids.
Merch - https://nonmembersshop.com/ We kick off the episode celebrating National Farmers Day by debating whether baling hay makes farmers actual athletes, before diving into our lingering disgust over lettuce grown with manure "poo water" . We finally swallow our pride to share the embarrassing origin story of our podcast, which all started during the pandemic when Sam gifted Erin one of Mike's Pizza Pocket Hoodies. In gaming news, Erin explains how she's escaping the "dopamine pit" of unfulfilled fitness goals by playing a relaxing Pokémon game (Pokemon Pokopia) and trying out Pathbound, a fantasy walking app that uses real life steps as stamina to smite hollow pixies. We also discuss Steppa, an app where users bet on hitting their 10,000 daily steps for a share of a $170,000 prize pool. On the sports front, we share a quick "Pepto Pugskins" fantasy football update, lamenting how the autodrafting might not be the smartest thing. In our news roundup, we review the controversial new spectator rules for the upcoming New York City Marathon, which officially ban confetti cannons and unauthorized sponsored cheer stations. We also discuss New York's new high-tech "robot toilets" equipped with a strict 10-minute time limit. Shifting to the extreme, we react to an athlete attempting to kayak 700km down the deadly Congo River basin alongside gorillas and hippos. In the collectibles and marketing world, we applaud the genius "NASCAR Swear Jar" campaign that lets fans guess the cumulative number of driver expletives to win a cash pot, and we marvel at Michael Jordan's $12.2 million game worn jersey being sold by Rob G., the same entrepreneur who recently purchased a Jai Alai league. We also squeeze in a serious health update, as Erin details her agonizing wait for genetic testing results and surgical consultations for her sentinel lymph nodes following a melanoma diagnosis. To lighten the mood, we explore the fun of magnet fishing in rivers for lost trinkets and marvel at the discovery of an 1884 shipwreck recently uncovered on the shores of Nantucket. We also follow up on the dedicated DoorDash driver who got into a severe car accident; his loyal customers have since raised $15,000 for him. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we highlight the wholesome journey of a Japanese man biking from Chicago to LA who experienced the best of American hospitality when a stranger invited him to stay in his home, and a police officer helped push his heavy bike up a steep bridge.
We kick off celebrating a massive 7,000 Instagram follower milestone and share an intimate 50th wedding anniversary recap before diving into a four-player session of Super Mario Wonder. We discuss upcoming Nintendo releases—including the highly anticipated Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake—and gawk at a Pokémon card that just sold for an eye-popping $1,020,000. Finally, we praise the USA Women's Wheelchair Basketball squad entering LA 2028 as reigning world champions. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.
We kick off celebrating a two-week health streak and debating wedding table etiquette before sharing a neighborhood encounter with a rumored retired NFL player. We dive into a viral Hyrox race controversy from Beijing and break down the fiery NASCAR brawl at Bristol between Carson Hocevar and Ryan Blaney. Finally, we expose a shocking front-office scandal within USA Team Handball and open up a pack of the chaotic new 30th-anniversary Pokémon cards live on the mic. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.
We kick off celebrating World Mini Golf Day and issue a major podcast ultimatum before diving into a raw mental health and melanoma diagnosis update. On the sports front, we review the wild Philadelphia Eagles "Big Dom" drama, explore the insane World Nomad Games (horseback rugby with a goat carcass), and break down the Rams vs. 49ers Melbourne time-zone strategies. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.