"Why Can't I Remember Anything?" Understanding ADHD, Working Memory & Mental Load

Looking for ADHD self-empowerment, guidance and support? Look through my ADHD Women's Wellbeing resources here. My entire 'ADHD Women's Wellbeing Series' is on offer this July. Head here to learn more about the workshops and use code JULY to get 35% off. I'm sure you relate to recalling an entire conversation from months ago or even song lyrics from the 80s, but forgetting why you walked into a room thirty seconds ago? On this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, I'm joined by Dr Sarah Rudebeck, a clinical psychologist with a PhD in memory from the University of Oxford. Sarah specialises in working memory and executive function difficulties in adults, and is the co-founder of Recallify, an AI companion for memory support. She works clinically in the NHS, with a particular interest in bridging the gap between what research tells us about memory and what people are actually offered in terms of help. In this episode, we talk about the difference between memories that are simply hard to retrieve under pressure and genuine working memory difficulties, why so many ADHD adults share a similar cognitive profile of strong intellectual ability alongside weaker working memory and attention, and why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle, no matter how many crosswords or brain games we try. We also get into the practical side, from school admin and parenting reminders to household overwhelm and overbuying, and how Sarah's own frustration with the gap between research and everyday support led her to co-found Recallify. In this episode, we cover:

The difference between memories that are "in there" and memories you can retrieve under pressure

What working memory actually is, and how it differs from attention, executive function and long-term memory

The common ADHD cognitive profile: strong intellectual ability alongside weaker working memory and processing speed

What happens during a neuropsychological assessment, and what it reveals about your own pattern of strengths and difficulties

Why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle, and what the research on brain training actually shows

How hormonal changes in midlife can affect word retrieval and confidence

Where working memory difficulties show up day to day, from school admin to household overwhelm

Why so many of us overbuy and overcompensate rather than under-organise

Sarah's own experience of dyslexia and learning to lean on her strengths

How Recallify came about, and how its brain dump and task features work

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome, and introducing Dr Sarah Rudebeck

01:23 - Sarah's background and her work in the NHS

02:43 - Why memory can feel reliable in conversation but fail under pressure

05:50 - What working memory actually is

08:36 - What happens during a neuropsychological assessment

12:21 - How working memory difficulties show up in children at school

14:41 - Why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle

19:44 - Everyday examples: parenting, school admin and household overwhelm

24:38 - Why so many of us overbuy rather than under-organise

29:31 - Using your strengths to work around your weaknesses

32:01 - How the gap in NHS support led Sarah to create Recallify

46:33 - Sarah's free trial offer for listeners

This week's episode is sponsored by elete, a simple way to support your hydration by adding essential electrolytes to the water you're already drinking. So many of us get completely absorbed in a task and forget to drink anything for hours, then wonder why we feel foggy or flat later in the day. Elete is sugar-free, with no artificial sweeteners or unnecessary additives, and it's trusted by health-conscious families, athletes and wellness professionals alike. Head to eletewater.co.uk and use the code WWP20 for an exclusive 20% listener discount. Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website [here].

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod

Visit Recallify's websi