Show Notes
What it's about:
In this episode of The Low Demand Parenting Podcast, I’m diving into what low demand parenting really looks like. As an autistic adult, mom of three, and someone who’s been on this journey myself, I’ve seen firsthand how letting go of traditional parenting pressures opens the door to more trust, connection, and joy in our families. Inspired by Ross Green’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, I share how releasing control and truly respecting our kids’ boundaries can change everything. We’ll talk about how meltdowns are a form of communication, how to build genuine trust, and the growth that comes when we parent from a place of understanding and reflection. It’s all about moving away from power struggles and toward a more peaceful, respectful home life.
12 Days of Low Demand Holidays:
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Links:
Ross Greene's The Explosive Child
Collaborative and Proactive Solutions approach
00:00 Introduction to Low Demand Parenting
00:59 Early Parenting Struggles
02:20 Discovering Ross Green's Approach
03:30 Building Trust and Letting Go
03:59 Core Principles of Low Demand Parenting
08:46 Proactive and Reflective Practices
10:46 The Path to Freedom and Joy
12:51 Personal Transformation and Final Thoughts
15:12 Conclusion and Call to Action
Ready to Start Dropping Demands?
If you’re ready to dive deeper into low demand parenting, I’ve got some great FREE resources to help you get started!
Quiz: Why is Everything So Hard? – This quick, insightful quiz will help you understand why parenting might feel so overwhelming right now and give you personalized steps to lighten the load. Take the quiz here.
Free Chapter: Low Demand Parenting – Curious about my book, Low Demand Parenting? Download the first chapter for free and start your journey toward more ease and joy. Get the free chapter here.
Transcript:
Hello, we are going to talk this week about how low demand parenting is different from other parenting techniques. And after years of practicing low demand, what the most powerful demand drops have actually been. Let's talk about how low demand parenting is different from some of the other techniques and tools and strategies and mindsets that you might've encountered.
I want to go back to my early parenting days, when I was eager, so desperate, in fact, for strategies that would help me parent my three kids, who I adore with my whole heart, and who also seemed to struggle. Every day with what I had been taught to see as ordinary aspects of being a human and the strategies that professionals and books and blogs and podcasts recommended were things like timeouts or time ins, punishments or consequences or natural consequences, reward charts, sticker charts, praise, praise, Ignoring.
And every one of those techniques that I tried chipped away or outright destroyed the relationship I wanted to have with my kids. Clear kind boundaries and developing emotional vocabulary enraged and alienated them. Picture schedules, consistent routines, and enforced sensory breaks all fell flat.
Nothing worked. All of the best techniques that I was taught failed. And at every turn, it was my fault. I felt like such a failure. Discovering Ross Green's work changed my path. Ross Green is the author of many books, including The Explosive Child and The Parenting Approach, called Collaborative and Proactive Solutions.
When I discovered what Dr. Green describes as releasing adult controlled plans, or Plan A, and his encouragement for us to embrace true collaboration, it felt like freedom. When I truly gave up on My responsibility as the adult being to control the outcomes and the plans, I wept for days. I felt deep relief
More from Low Demand Parenting
In Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Katherine Olson, we deep dive into PDA and why so many of the strategies we're told to use can backfire for PDA kids. We talk about autonomy, neuroception, connection, and the invisible energy underneath our words—and why relationship is probably the most powerful intervention we have.
In this first part of a deep dive into PDA from a professional's lens, I’m talking with Dr. Katherine Olson, a clinical psychologist with extensive training in autism, early childhood intervention, and neurodevelopment. But Katie is also a parent who had to completely rethink what she thought she knew clinically, when her own child didn't fit the frameworks she'd been trained to use. Next week we'll talk more about the definition of PDA itself and why so many common parenting strategies fail so spectacularly for PDAers.
Listen in as I talk with somatic coach and artist Jo Kelly about what happens when we practice truly trusting our children (and ourselves) for the long haul. Jo shares her experience stepping away from traditional schooling and choosing a radically child-led educational path for her children, who are now young adults, including what she learned about feeling our feelings, self-trust, curiosity, and the ways children flourish when we release the expectation of conformity. We talk about how conditioning teaches us to disconnect from our own bodies and feelings, why so many of us struggle to trust our instincts as parents, and what it can look like to create a life where our children are allowed to follow their interests, honor their needs, advocate for themselves, and become who they already are. What if our work isn't to fix or heal our children, but to stop interrupting the incredible humans they already are?
Esther Jones is a long-time unschooling parent who joins me to talk about how kids learn, how we can support learning, and what it looks like to truly trust our kids in their own educational journey. A rich conversation for people regardless of your schooling approach, Esther embodies a conviction that learning is our kids' native state, and that all we have to create a open, trusting, collaborative space, and they will learn in abundance!