King Scott Smells Like Salami, Chocolate Overdoses & the HOA President From Hell

King Scott smells like a salami sandwich, Rizz nearly loses hundreds of dollars to a Taylor Swift ticket scam, and Chris Kerber reveals he's secretly running a homeowners association with the attitude of a hockey enforcer. Throw in a ghost that apparently just wanted to cuddle, a suspicious soccer-ticket exchange in London, and the mystery of September birthdays, and you've got another spectacularly dysfunctional day on The Rizzuto Show. Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another funny podcast packed with Halloween chaos, weird news, celebrity gossip, St. Louis Blues hockey, paranormal encounters, concert ticket disasters, and the kind of conversations that make you wonder whether this crew should be allowed to make decisions without adult supervision. First up, King Scott officially begins Mascot Week, his punishment for losing Week 7 of the NFL Pick'em Challenge. The rules are simple: Scott has to wear a different mascot costume every day. Unfortunately, his first assignment is Sweetmeat, the legendary pig mascot from 105.7 The Point, and the costume has apparently absorbed enough sweat over the years to qualify as its own ecosystem. The giant pig head smells like a salami sandwich. The armpits are horrifying. The oversized shoes look like they survived the Reagan administration. And Scott's magnificent hair makes the whole thing resemble a pig with an '80s mullet. Rafe describes the mascot head as being lined with prosciutto, Moon points out that Sweetmeat clearly skipped leg day, and Lern takes great pleasure in watching Scott attempt to squeeze through the studio doorway. The best part? Scott decides to eat a beef stick while wearing the costume. Pork on pork. It's the sort of decision that makes you realize losing the NFL Pick'em Challenge isn't even Scott's biggest problem. The crew also previews other potential mascot appearances, including costumes associated with the St. Louis Battlehawks, local restaurants, and other familiar St. Louis favorites. Somewhere, Fredbird and Louie are watching this unfold and reconsidering their career choices. Then things get supernatural when a listener emails the show claiming he once had a ghost cuddle him while recovering in a hospital. According to his account, the mysterious visitor appeared repeatedly until a priest became involved. The listener insists nothing sexual happened, which naturally gives Rizz, Moon, Lern, and Rafe approximately a thousand questions. Was it a friendly ghost? A dream? A hallucination? Does cuddling count as a relationship? And why does The Rizzuto Show suddenly have enough paranormal dating stories to launch a supernatural matchmaking service? The crew also remembers a previous listener who claimed to have married and divorced a ghost. Apparently, even death isn't enough to save some relationships. With Halloween approaching, the gang gets into costume planning, family parties, and the delicate art of surviving October without embarrassing yourself. Moon reveals that his house has somehow become the designated gathering place for a group of teenagers, despite nobody officially asking his permission. Rizz prepares for Halloween festivities, Lern talks costumes, and everybody debates the logistical nightmare of hosting kids who apparently believe the entire neighborhood is their personal event venue. And speaking of family activities that might require an explanation, Rizz introduces a ranking of America's most common birthdays. It turns out September is absolutely packed with birthdays, especially between September 8th and September 21st. The most common date discussed on the show? September 9th. Naturally, the crew immediately realizes that nine months before September puts conception right around the winter holidays. Christmas. New Year's Eve. Holiday parties. Mistletoe. Apparently, December isn't just the season of giving. It's also the season of creating somebody who will eventually need braces. Things get even stra

Ever wonder why everybody seems to have a birthday in September? Apparently, the holidays are a lot more festive than we realized. Add a Taylor Swift ticket scam, a suspicious soccer-ticket handoff in London, and an Instagram algorithm obsessed with shark attacks, and you've got another perfectly normal morning on The Rizzuto Show. Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another funny podcast packed with weird news, embarrassing family revelations, celebrity gossip, rock music, Halloween horror, and the kind of conversations that make you wonder whether anybody in this studio has ever successfully completed a background check. First up, why are September birthdays so ridiculously common? Rizz discovers a birthday ranking showing that 12 of the 15 most common birthdays fall between September 8th and September 21st, with September 9th taking the number-one spot. Naturally, the crew immediately starts doing some very uncomfortable calendar math. Nine months before September? That's right. December. Christmas. New Year's Eve. Holiday parties. Mistletoe. People making decisions that eventually require buying diapers. And things get even weirder when Rizz and Rafe realize their fathers are both named Dennis and share the same September 9th birthday. That's an adorable coincidence until you start thinking about what their grandparents were doing around the holidays. The gang also examines the rarest birthdays, including February 29th, Christmas Day, New Year's Day, and other major holidays. Everyone starts checking their own birthday rankings, and Moon discovers he's apparently a limited-edition human being. At least according to the calendar. Then Rizz brings up a story about a Canadian couple who scammed Taylor Swift fans out of approximately $190,000 by selling concert tickets that didn't exist. The scheme involved fans paying for promised Eras Tour tickets, only to discover that nothing was waiting in their inboxes when the concerts arrived. That brings back some uncomfortable memories for Rizz, who nearly lost hundreds of dollars while trying to score Taylor Swift tickets for his daughter. Rafe had helped track down what sounded like a promising deal: two available seats, a believable price, and a story about kids who supposedly couldn't attend. Unfortunately, the only thing missing was proof that the tickets existed. Thankfully, they caught the red flags before sending money. Meanwhile, Moon shares his own wildly suspicious ticket-buying adventure in London, where he purchased a Chelsea soccer ticket through an unfamiliar reseller and was instructed to meet a stranger on a street corner near a mailbox. Nothing says legitimate sporting event like waiting for a mystery man to appear with an envelope. Against all odds, the guy actually showed up, handed Moon a ticket, and disappeared. Even more shockingly, the ticket worked. Moon got to watch the match, and the crew got another reminder that his survival instincts are apparently powered by blind optimism. The conversation continues into the absolute nightmare of concert ticket bots and resale prices, as Lern discusses a Garth Brooks concert sale in Kansas City that was reportedly overwhelmed by automated ticket buyers. Rizz and the gang debate whether it's time to bring back old-school box office sales, physical tickets, and the ancient tradition of actually standing in line like a human being. Remember when buying concert tickets was merely inconvenient instead of requiring a cybersecurity team and a second mortgage? Then it's time for Lern's Crap on Celebrities, where things get wonderfully ridiculous. Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett reads Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven for Halloween, inspiring the crew to revisit their encounters with Metallica, including Lern and Rafe meeting Kirk and Robert Trujillo, and Rizz's interview with James Hetfield. Moon and Rizz also tease the unboxing of an extremely rare Gibson guitar, while the gang revisits Metallica'

King Scott is trapped inside a sweaty pig costume that smells like an Italian deli, a listener claims he had a relationship with a ghost, and a former NBA superstar is apparently struggling to survive on a budget that could fund a small country. Just another completely normal morning on The Rizzuto Show. Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another funny podcast featuring NFL punishment disasters, paranormal romance, Halloween relationship drama, celebrity financial meltdowns, and enough St. Louis chaos to make you question why any of these people are allowed near a microphone. First up, King Scott officially begins Mascot Week, his punishment for losing Week 7 of the NFL Pick'em Challenge. After spinning the punishment wheel, Scott is required to wear a different mascot costume every day. And what better way to kick things off than squeezing into Sweetmeat, the legendary pig mascot from 105.7 The Point? There's just one tiny problem. The costume smells absolutely horrifying. We're talking years of concerts, sweaty promotional appearances, questionable stains, enormous shoes, and a mascot head that apparently hasn't experienced a proper cleaning since the invention of electricity. Scott describes the smell inside the helmet as something resembling a salami sandwich. Rafe suggests it's lined with prosciutto. Lern confirms the costume has survived plenty of hot summer concerts, and Moon points out that Sweetmeat apparently skipped leg day. Meanwhile, Scott struggles to fit through doorways, operate his headphones, and communicate with the rest of the crew from inside a giant pig head. It's the beginning of a full week of humiliation, with possible appearances involving the St. Louis Battlehawks, local restaurant mascots, and other oversized costumes. Somewhere in St. Louis, a professional mascot is watching this and demanding hazard pay. Then things take a supernatural turn when a listener emails the show claiming he once had a ghost cuddle him at night while recovering in a hospital. According to his story, the mysterious nighttime visitor kept returning until a priest became involved. The listener insists the relationship was strictly nonsexual, which naturally gives the gang approximately 47 additional questions. Was it a friendly ghost? Was it a hallucination? Does cuddling count as dating? And why does The Rizzuto Show suddenly have enough paranormal romance material to launch its own supernatural dating service? The crew also remembers a previous listener who claimed to have married and divorced a ghost. Apparently, even the afterlife can't escape relationship problems. With Halloween approaching, the conversation moves into costume controversies and questionable workplace relationships. A Reddit story involving two coworkers dressed as characters from The Pitt sparks a heated debate about the dreaded work husband and work wife situation. The male coworker's actual wife attends the Halloween party, discovers her husband wearing a coordinated costume with another woman, and is understandably less than thrilled. Rizz, Moon, Lern, and Rafe debate whether the costume was innocent fun or an incredibly predictable relationship disaster. Because nothing says happy marriage like explaining why you coordinated your Halloween outfit with your work wife instead of your actual wife. Meanwhile, the crew prepares for their own Halloween festivities, including The Lost Boys-inspired costumes, Moon's potential Top Gun look, Rizz's full-size candy bar strategy, and an unexpected teenage Halloween gathering at Moon's house. Then Rizz reveals that St. Louis ranked 65th out of 100 cities for celebrating Halloween in a WalletHub comparison discussed on the show. The good news? St. Louis scored much better for Halloween fun. The bad news? Safety rankings weren't exactly doing us any favors. Naturally, the gang launches into stories about Devil's Night, egging houses, toilet-papering neighborhoods, Halloween insu

A naked man takes a stroll through a Missouri nature preserve, a three-year-old soccer superstar gets benched, and his parents somehow turn a children's soccer game into a police matter. Welcome to Tuesday on The Rizzuto Show, where the kids might actually be the most responsible people in the room. Rizz, Moon Valjean, King Scott, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another funny podcast full of weird news, St. Louis stories, terrible parenting decisions, internet slang, and conversations that absolutely did not need to get this personal before breakfast. King Scott got a yellow card on the show today and spun the wheel after losing this week's Pickem Challenge. What punishment will he serve? Is hooking up with a ghost technically cheating? And what if that ghost happens to be a former First Lady? Welcome to The Rizzuto Show, where a perfectly normal conversation about the paranormal somehow turns into an investigation of George Washington's marriage. Things get weird immediately when Rizz asks the crew whether they know anyone who's had a romantic encounter with a ghost. Because apparently that's a completely reasonable question to ask your coworkers before breakfast. Lern recalls a particularly memorable dream involving a pilgrim—or possibly the Quaker Oats guy—while Moon shares a story about a tour bus driver who claimed to have an unexplained encounter in a hotel room. Then the conversation turns to celebrities who have claimed paranormal experiences, including Dan Aykroyd and Kesha, and suddenly the entire studio is debating the rules of supernatural infidelity. If you're married and a ghost makes a move, does that count as cheating? What about a vampire? An alien? Does your wedding vow apply across dimensions? These are the important questions nobody asked, and naturally, The Rizzuto Show is determined to answer them. But the real disaster begins when someone brings up Mary Todd Lincoln and Martha Washington. What starts as a discussion about which historical First Lady might make an attractive ghost quickly becomes a completely unhinged comparison of presidential portraits. The crew notices a resemblance between George and Martha Washington, and before anyone can restore order, they're joking that the nation's first president and his wife might have been the same person. That's right. George Washington as his own First Lady. It's not an actual historical revelation, obviously. It's just the kind of ridiculous conspiracy theory that happens when four adults spend too much time staring at old paintings and not nearly enough time doing their jobs. Somewhere, a history teacher just threw a textbook across the room. Meanwhile, Lern delivers another round of Crap on Celebrities, and the entertainment world isn't making things any easier. Metallica's Las Vegas Sphere performances are causing a disagreement in the studio. Rizz and Lern think the band's professionally released concert footage might be spoiling the experience for fans who haven't attended yet. Moon isn't quite as convinced. Is watching an entire performance online before seeing it live the musical equivalent of reading the ending of a movie? The crew also discusses new music from The Flaming Lips, Noel Gallagher's surprisingly enthusiastic admiration for Matthew McConaughey, and the bizarre revelation that Gallagher once displayed a life-size cardboard cutout of the actor in his front window. That naturally leads to a conversation about the crew's own cardboard cutouts, including Rizz's habit of moving his around the house. Because apparently having a life-size version of yourself isn't unsettling enough unless you occasionally put it in bed. There's plenty more celebrity and pop culture commentary, including the crew's reaction to a reported Chris Brown legal case, a discussion of Jay-Z and the Super Bowl halftime show, and news involving Keanu Reeves, a Baywatch revival, and Sacha Baron Cohen's return to Ali G. Then it's time for some horror talk as the gang

What happens when the most laid-back wrestler in AEW meets a radio show full of grown men who believe jeans are survival equipment? Apparently, a beautiful friendship is born. And somebody might be getting a custom denim duster. AEW superstar Orange Cassidy joins Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, and Rafe Williams in the studio for another funny podcast packed with professional wrestling stories, questionable fashion advice, fast-food disasters, and injuries that will make you appreciate your boring office job. First up, the crew tackles one of the most controversial returns in fast-food history: the McRib is back! Orange Cassidy admits there's something strangely exciting about a sandwich that disappears and reappears whenever McDonald's feels like messing with everybody. Rizz thinks it's gross, Rafe loves it, and Lern introduces everyone to the horrifying sight of an unsauced McRib. Apparently, barbecue sauce isn't just a condiment. It's a disguise. Orange takes one look at the gray, suspiciously rib-shaped creation and immediately questions whether he wants it anywhere near his body. A perfectly reasonable response from a man who regularly gets thrown around a wrestling ring. Then the conversation turns to Orange Cassidy's true passion: denim. Jeans in the wrestling ring? Absolutely. Jeans on airplanes? Obviously. Jeans for practically every occasion? Why would anyone wear anything else? Orange explains why he prefers wrestling in denim, how modern stretchy jeans have changed the game, and why he considers the fabric a protective layer between himself and the rest of humanity. That's when Rafe Williams reveals his theory about airplane survival: if a plane crashes and the survivors need to elect a leader, nobody's choosing the guy wearing sweatpants and Crocs. They're choosing the man in jeans and work boots. Orange Cassidy agrees so enthusiastically that Rafe may have finally found his soulmate. And the denim bonding doesn't stop there. Rafe tells the tragic story of his teenage attempt to reinvent himself with a full-length, acid-wash denim duster. What was supposed to be a legendary fashion statement became a school-day disaster when an upperclassman tore the coat apart almost immediately. Orange is genuinely impressed. The two start discussing matching denim dusters, water skiing in jeans, and the possibility of Lern's mom making custom outfits. Somewhere, Levi's marketing department is wondering why nobody invited them. The crew also gets into Orange Cassidy's famously relaxed wrestling persona. While other wrestlers scream, flex, and cover themselves in body oil, Orange prefers to keep things simple, move at his own pace, and occasionally wrestle with his hands in his pockets. He even reveals a backstage wrestling secret: some performers use conditioner to keep their hair looking wet during matches. Meanwhile, Orange's hair apparently looks fantastic without any effort, which Lern finds personally offensive. Then things take a much more painful turn. Orange Cassidy opens up about some of the worst injuries of his professional wrestling career, including a separated shoulder, a torn pectoral muscle, a broken leg, and a devastating facial injury. He describes getting kneed in the face, breaking the orbital bone and sinus area, and experiencing a frightening amount of bleeding afterward. He also recalls a shoulder injury that required medical professionals to pull his arm back into position. Suddenly, the guy wrestling in jeans doesn't seem quite so ridiculous. Orange also talks about the nonstop schedule of professional wrestling, life on the road, and why he genuinely enjoys living out of a suitcase. With AEW operating year-round, his rare extended breaks have mostly come courtesy of injuries. Not exactly the vacation package anybody wants. The conversation gets musical when Orange explains the inspiration behind his entrance themes, Jefferson Starship's "Jane" and the Pixies' "Where Is My Mind?" His original connection to "Ja