Show Notes
Some mornings, the most dysregulated person in the room isn't your child. It's you. And that doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human, with a nervous system that's been hypervigilant for a long time.
In this episode on nervous system regulation for parents of neurodivergent kids, I'm getting honest about my own history as a yeller. When my son was little, I raised my voice to break through his non-stop energy and get us out the door. What I didn't know then was that I was co-escalating with him, two dysregulated nervous systems pulling each other further into the fire.
We talk about why co-escalation is the flip side of co-regulation, and why it drains your battery so fast. I share how to apply the same behavior-as-communication lens you use for your child to yourself, so yelling or shutting down becomes a signal of what you need, not proof of a character flaw. You'll hear the body cues and triggers to watch for, a simple breath you can use in the hardest moments, and the words I use to explain the science of a dysregulated "bodyguard" to kids so you can both take a break.
We also dig into repair, why it matters more than perfection, and what it can sound like after you've said things you wish you hadn't. And we get proactive, with small daily glimmers that help fill your own battery in as little as three to five minutes a day.
If you've ever lost it with your child and then spent the rest of the day in shame, this episode is for you. You matter too.
Listen to the full episode now.
Take the free quiz to find out where to start with your neurodivergent child: parentingadhdandautism.com/quiz
Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/380
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com. It's not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.
More from Beautifully Complex
Kids notice far more than we give them credit for. They already know reading takes longer, focus slips away, or conversations feel harder for them than for their friends. Without an explanation, so many neurodivergent kids land on the most painful story available: I'm the problem.
I put a lot of my own body image struggle onto my daughter without ever meaning to, and I didn't catch it happening until it already had. That's exactly the kind of quiet, unintentional pattern Erin Washington and I dig into in this conversation.
My own kid has told me for years that talking to people online is just easier than talking to them in person. I used to wonder if that was a red flag. Andrew Fishman helped me understand that it actually might be the opposite.
Punishment feels like it's working. Compliance shows up fast, and for a minute it looks like the lesson landed. But according to child behavior expert Bryan Post, that quick compliance is often the opposite of learning, it's the brain shutting down under stress.
A grilled cheese sandwich turned into one of the clearest parenting lessons I've had in a long time.