Show Notes
In this episode, I’m talking about something I see all the time with my clients, and something I personally experienced for a long time: The push-pull between validation and empowerment. And how the very thing that once helped you survive… might now be covertly blocking your ability to move forward.
In this episode, we talk about: Why the need for validation makes so much sense (especially after medical gaslighting and invisible pain) How self-validation can turn into a loop that keeps you stuck The turning point: wanting to be well more than wanting validation The difference between self-pity and self-compassion (this one is big) What self-compassion actually looks like in real time The grief that comes with realizing no one can fully understand your experience Reflection questions to help you shift out of the validation loop and into healing
A question to sit with: Are you validating yourself in a way that helps you feel supported and capable… Or in a way that keeps you stuck, cycling through how hard and unfair this is?
If you’re ready for support… This is exactly the work we do inside Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain. Inside the program, you’ll learn how to: Understand why your pain is happening Shift out of fear and symptom focus Respond to your body in a new way Stay in process, even when it feels hard Build real momentum in your healing You don’t have to figure this out alone. 👉 Learn more here: https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program Doors are currently open, but enrollment is closing at the end of April. When we reopen at the end of June, it will be at a new price. Healing is possible for you. Rooting for you, always 💜
Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
More from Heal Your Chronic Pelvic Pain
What can you do when a pain flare is loud, uncomfortable, and not something you can make stop in the moment? A building fire alarm kept going off for two weeks, sometimes during coaching calls and sometimes in the middle of the night. The experience reminded me of what it was like to live with chronic pelvic pain: knowing what was happening didn’t make the sensations disappear, and I couldn’t always change the situation right away. In this episode, I share how I supported myself through those moments, from putting in earbuds so I could keep coaching to noticing the comfort of my bed while I waited for the alarm to turn off. We talk about acknowledging discomfort without pretending it isn’t there, choosing what might support you, and considering whether you want to take a values-aligned action or rest. There’s no right or wrong choice. For me, showing up for the things I cared about, even when my symptoms were intense, supported my sense of agency. Your choice may look different. The invitation is to ask what you need and how you want to spend the time while you wait for the flare to pass. In this episode: Why knowing a symptom is a false alarm doesn’t always make the discomfort go away
If you've ever frozen on the exam table, or spent the drive home replaying everything you wish you'd said, this episode is for you. For so many of us with chronic pelvic pain, gynecologist visits are part of the recovery journey. And they can be really hard, both physically and emotionally. Many providers aren't trained in trauma-informed care or familiar with conditions like vaginismus and vulvodynia, which means it often falls on us to speak up for what we need. In this episode, I'm sharing the things I didn't know I could ask for when I was healing, so you can walk into your next appointment feeling more prepared and a little more in control. In this episode: Why telling your provider about pain with penetration out loud matters (even if it's already on your intake form)
When I was living with chronic pelvic pain, I believed that if I had symptoms, I was suffering. It felt impossible to enjoy my life or loosen my urgency to heal while pain was still there. Because I felt like I was always suffering.
Do you have to quit your job, leave your relationship, move, or completely restructure your life in order to heal?
Even though no one can do the healing work for you, that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.