The Noticing Gap: Raising Boys Who Look Around | Manasa Tanuku
The ManFlu | Exploring Gender Dynamics, Partnerships & Raising Boys Who CareShow Notes
Ask a group of moms whether they noticed the friend who seemed off at dinner, and most will raise a hand. Ask their husbands, and you’ll often get a shrug. That gap in who notices what raises a bigger question. Are we teaching boys to pay attention to the people around them?
On The ManFlu, host Lucy McAfee talks with Manasa Tanuku, co-founder of Sage Baby Co. and mom to a four-year-old son and a six-month-old daughter. Manasa spent years in finance and venture capital, then launched her company the day before she went into labor. A third culture kid raised between the US and India, she shares what her dad taught her about being seen, from a tiny chalkboard on a door handle to the texts he still sends when he hears something in her voice.
Manasa sees plenty of fathers doing school drop-offs, packing lunches, and sharing the responsibilities of parenting. Yet even in what look like equal partnerships, she notices a difference in who carries the mental load of anticipating what’s needed, picks up on emotional cues, and pays attention to the things left unsaid. She connects that gap to the behaviors boys and girls are taught to notice, shares a fascinating study that mapped what men and women notice on the same walking path, and recalls a conversation with her son about a ’90s song that showed her how early these skills can develop.
Raising emotionally intelligent boys starts with giving them opportunities to practice noticing. Manasa shares one small habit you can start tonight to help your kids pay closer attention to the people and world around them. You might find it changes what you notice, too.
Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome And Meeting Manasa Tanuku 02:08 A Long Road To Motherhood And New Ambition 08:24 Growing Up A Third Culture Kid 14:33 Dads At Drop-Off And Valuing Everyone's Time 18:18 Why Partnership Evens Out Over Seasons 22:44 The Gap In Who Notices What 26:00 The Study On Where Men And Women Look 30:28 Building The Noticing Muscle With A '90s Song 34:50 Heart-To-Heart Time With A Dad Who Noticed 41:30 The One Small Shift: Narrate What You Notice
Mentioned in this episode Gender-Based Heat Map Images of Campus Walking Settings, Robbie Chaney, Alyssa Baer and Ida Tovar, Violence and Gender (2024): https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10951437/
Connect with Manasa Tanuku: Visit The Sage Baby Co. website Follow The Sage Baby Co on Instagram
Connect with Lucy McAfee: Follow Lucy on Instagram Connect with Lucy on LinkedIn Visit The ManFlu website
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