Field Report: I Drank Mushroom Coffee All Week - Here’s What Happened

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This Episode This week I went all in on mushroom coffee - far beyond the recommended daily allowance - and flirted with the idea of ayahuasca.

Not at a retreat. A workshop. Which is very much the pre-retreat.

I went in curious, sceptical, exhausted, and - unfortunately - deeply distracted by a fit shaman, which immediately ruled out any future scenario involving vomiting, purging, or losing control in front of an attractive man.

So: ayahuasca is crossed off the list for now. Mushroom coffee, however? Fully in the running.

What this episode covers

We’re all knackered. Properly frazzled. Running on broken sleep, caffeine, and whatever scraps of energy are left after bedtime.

And yet Instagram and TikTok cannot agree on what we’re supposed to do about it for more than eleven seconds.

So this field report looks at what actually helped — and what absolutely did not.

In this episode, I cover:

What ayahuasca actually involves (spoiler: buckets, purging, and zero dignity) Why psychedelic “healing” feels wildly incompatible with my personality A deeply unsettling mushroom horror story involving horses, Marmite, and sixth form Why I don’t buy the idea that neuroplasticity + strangers + vomiting is the answer Mushroom coffee vs normal coffee — how it actually feels in the body Brain fog, focus, and that rare feeling of being mentally “on” Why mushroom coffee feels more like: a full night’s sleep peak flow a few days before ovulation Coffee side effects (yes, including that one) The creatine variable (and why it complicates the experiment) Sleep deprivation, parenting, and surviving on medium-to-go energy Why mushroom coffee works brilliantly before midday and terribly after How to make mushroom coffee taste genuinely good (no grim watery nonsense)

Mushroom coffee & ingredients mentioned

We talk about:

Mushroom coffee Functional mushrooms Nootropics and adaptogens Lion’s Mane Cordyceps Chaga Reishi Maca Creatine and cognition Brain fog, focus, and fatigue Coffee alternatives

Brands mentioned (not ads):

Spacegoods DIRTEA / Dirty

How I actually drank it (the non-feral version)

Full mug of oat milk (yes, the whole mug) Microwave for one minute One tablespoon mushroom coffee Stir Drink

Optional (if you’re feeling fancy):

Hazelnut or pistachio crème (M&S) Do not bother with water Do not add washing-up admin to your life

Find of the Week

Mushroom coffee made properly — creamy, hot, and not vaguely punishing.

Fail of the Week

Drinking it after midday. Absolutely wired. Absolutely no sleep. Do not recommend.

What’s next

I’ll be back on Monday with:

the first proper Ask Guru & Granny another thing I’m actually trying and a report on whether any of this is helping or just rearranging the exhaustion

See you then. Follow along to see me desperately trying in real time on:

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