Show Notes
Jenna Free is a counselor who specializes in ADHD, and she doesn't teach it from a textbook, she lives it, having been diagnosed herself at 32. Her work zeroes in on the piece she says the field keeps missing: dysregulation. Through her ADHD regulation groups and her training for mental health professionals, she teaches a method built around regulating the nervous system, thoughts, and behaviors, and she's put it all into her bestselling book The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation, a Toronto Star and Globe and Mail bestseller. The core idea here reframes almost everything men think they know about ADHD. Jenna argues that most of what gets labeled ADHD is actually an ADHD brain stuck in chronic fight or flight, and that it's fixable. She and Larry get into what's happening in the brain during dysregulation, the four survival responses, why potential keeps you stuck, and how simply refusing to fight with reality can change your whole day. If you or your kids have ever felt like putting on socks is a full body assignment, this one explains why.
Timeline Summary [1:58] – Getting diagnosed at 32 and finally making sense to herself [3:28] – Four careers by 35, from marketing to modeling in South Africa to teaching [9:14] – Two kids under a year and a half apart and max fight or flight [9:57] – Your mess becomes your message [10:16] – The full bio: the ADHD regulation method and a bestselling book [13:16] – What's actually happening in an ADHD brain stuck in fight or flight [14:43] – Why the fight or flight symptom list looks almost identical to the ADHD one [15:49] – The socks story and how different life feels once you're regulated [18:58] – Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one shows up [20:39] – Why your body can't tell a to-do list from a bear [22:01] – Which survival response dominates, and whether gender or age matters [24:41] – Why this work is hard for kids and lands better with bought-in adults [25:28] – Hyperactive, inattentive, and combination types across the lifespan [26:28] – Where regulation actually starts, and why buy-in comes first [27:43] – Putting on your dysregulation goggles to see symptoms differently [29:26] – Giving yourself permission to regulate when survival mode resists it [32:44] – Physical regulation first: slowing down to signal safety to the body [35:14] – Potential versus reality and the shoulds that pull you back into panic [36:50] – The spilled box of gems and dropping the fight with reality in five seconds [38:27] – Larry's disputed parking charge and staying calm while everyone else panicked [43:12] – Do people with ADHD have less energy, or is it pouring onto the floor? [45:13] – Why Jenna's calming tone regulates her own body in real time [48:14] – How fawning and people pleasing trace back to the amygdala
5 Key Takeaways It's Often Fight or Flight, Not Just ADHD — Many of the symptoms people write off as permanent ADHD traits, the overwhelm, paralysis, and procrastination, are actually a nervous system stuck in survival mode. That part is treatable. Your Body Can't Tell a To-Do List From a Bear — Under chronic stress, blood flow leaves the prefrontal cortex so you can fight or run, which is exactly why you can't think clearly when you sit down to work. Buy-In Comes Before Any Technique — Regulation work is uncomfortable because your system thinks its old patterns are keeping you alive. You have to genuinely want the change to push through the resistance. Start by Physically Slowing Down — Walking instead of rushing, dropping your shoulders, and typing at a reasonable pace all signal safety to the body. Small shifts over time retrain the nervous system far better than fast, intense change. Stop Fighting With Reality — Shoulds, what-ifs, and "this shshouldn't have happened" throw you straight back into panic. Naming what is real and asking "now what" is one of the fastest ways to calm the system down.
Links & Resources Episode page and all links: htt
More from The Dad Edge Podcast
This week I sat down with Dr. Diane Mueller, a board certified sexologist with doctorates in natural medicine and acupuncture and oriental medicine. She is the host of the Libido Lounge and a best selling author and international speaker who helps committed couples who went from passionate lovers to feeling like roommates. She looks at the whole picture, including hormones, stress, kids, menopause, communication, and life transitions. We got honest about how easily intimacy slips off track, including my own sadness since our first son left the nest and the drinking habit I traced back to it. Dr. Mueller explained why new relationship energy fades after 6 to 18 months, the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, how novelty brings the spark back, and why talking about sex feels like such a threat. If you're a husband or dad who wants to stop settling for roommate status in your marriage and rebuild desire and connection, this one is for you.
Bill Winchester is back on the show, and one word kept coming to mind as I read his story: builder. He started with backyard tree forts, married his high school sweetheart Christy at 21, raised three kids, and helped build the church his family worshiped in and the school his kids attended. Somewhere along the way he realized the most important thing he'd ever build was men, which led him to create the Dangerously Good Men rite of passage in Bend, Oregon, and Improving Grounds, where men gather around a fire on Saturday mornings. We talked about raising sons in a digital world, why despair and loneliness are rising among men, and the difference between protecting your son and preparing him. Bill walked through the liminal space between boyhood and manhood, the six core values behind his framework, and the men of significance every young man needs in his corner. If you're a dad raising a boy who is nearing his teens and you want to send him into manhood supported instead of unprepared, this conversation is for you.
Dr. Goran Jezic is a dual board certified physician practicing in Houston since 1996 who has focused on hair restoration for over a decade, with his team reporting more than 1 million hair grafts implanted. He personally conducts every consultation and specializes in the follicular unit extraction (FUE) method, working with everyday men as well as professional athletes, actors, and celebrities. In this episode Larry and Dr. Jezic break down why men actually lose their hair, what finasteride and minoxidil really do (and their side effect profiles), and how modern FUE transplants compare to the older strip method and the "hair plugs" of the past. If you're a man noticing thinning or a receding hairline and you want straight answers on genetics, medications, and what's possible before your hairline is gone, this conversation is for you.
This week I sat down with Michael Bernoff, a human behavior expert with more than 20 years of study into communication, influence, and language. He's the founder of the Human Communications Institute and the author of Average Sucks, and he started as an average middle class Jersey kid who was told that certain things weren't for people like us. At 19 he discovered that communication is a skill you can learn, and at 21 he met his mentor Jim Rohn, whose success principles shaped decades of his work. We got practical on the words we use with our kids, our wives, and ourselves when nobody is listening. Michael shared why saying it's hard keeps us stuck, why telling your kid you're proud of him might not be enough, how one phrase takes the pressure off any habit, and what your wife may really mean when she says you should know by now. If you're a dad or husband who wants to be more intentional about the language and communication patterns in your home, this one is for you.
Traver Boehm is back on the show for the third time, and I still remember his first story like it was yesterday. He's a former professional MMA fighter and bodyguard with a master's degree in traditional Chinese medicine, a hospice volunteer, more than 11 years sober, and the founder of the Uncivilized movement. He's the author of Today I Rise, Uncivilized, and 28 Days in Darkness, and he has now spent 77 days of his life in complete darkness, including 49 straight days in a dark room in Tuscany with no phone, no people, and no clock. We talk about what it takes to stop running from yourself, the fragmentation I see in so many men, and the morning a phrase landed so hard that Traver dropped to his knees. We also get honest about suicide, why men need to pick up the phone, and what a relationship with yourself does for your marriage and your kids. If you're a dad who feels the drift of busyness and wonders who you really are underneath it, this conversation is for you.