Show Notes
You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into why outsourcing your worth feels safer than trusting your own read, and what happens when you let someone else's behavior become the verdict on your value. He pulled away, so you must be too much. She chose someone else, so you must be nothing.
Listener questions on telling a gut feeling apart from relationship anxiety and ROCD, love bombing and ghosting, staying in a situationship that keeps regressing, and chasing emotionally unavailable men while writing off the available ones as doormats. Anxious and avoidant attachment, reassurance seeking, the abandonment wound, boundaries, and how to stop handing over the pen so your own knowing finally counts.
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Chapters:
00:00 Are They Into Me Or Am I Reading In
03:09 Would You Be Proud Of Your Life
05:23 Gut Feeling Or Relationship Anxiety
08:02 Why Green Flags Feel Uncomfortable
11:23 Owning Your Part In What Repeats
15:45 Stop Romanticizing The Bare Minimum
19:16 How To Validate Yourself
23:11 Chasing Someone Who Is Pulling Away
27:18 The Red Flags You Ignore Early On
31:34 Losing Weight Won't Make Them Stay
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from The Sabrina Zohar Show
Why do you keep checking if they watched your story, waiting for your ex to text, or feeling bored the moment someone is actually good to you? In this science-heavy episode, Sabrina breaks down the neuroscience of attachment and repeating relationship patterns: why your brain gets hooked on hot and cold people like a slot machine, why healthy relationships can feel boring, why you can’t get over your ex, and why you self-sabotage the moment you get what you wanted.
It’s pub day for Why Am I Like This?, and Sabrina’s mom Helly joins the show to talk honestly about Sabrina’s old dating patterns: texting nonstop, chasing emotionally unavailable men, people pleasing, and losing herself trying to make someone love her. Helly shares the advice she gave Sabrina for years, like “be careful what you wish for” and “you have to love yourself more than you need to be loved,” and explains why choosing yourself is where real change starts.
Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't heal anxious attachment, how childhood patterns follow you into dating and relationships, and what Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation study shows about anxious and avoidant attachment: avoidants feel the panic too, they just hide it.
Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.
How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do during and after a breakup, from why no contact matters (and why it shouldn't be used to make your ex miss you) to how to handle the urge to text your ex, stop ruminating, and accept that closure is a decision you make, even when you never get the conversation. She also covers processing anger and grief, moving on from someone who broke up with you months ago, staying civil with an ex you work with or co-parent with, and seeing your ex on dating apps.