Ep. 25 | Parenting with Awareness: 3 Essential Ingredients for Attuned Parenting w/ Wendy Sue Horn
Brain First Parenting with Eileen DevineShow Notes
SUMMARY - This episode is with guest Wendy Sue Horn, a master clinician, who has been treating individuals of all ages for over 20 years, including supporting parents. Wendy Sue is also an EMDRIA-approved consultant trainer in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a trauma-informed psychotherapy that helps individuals heal from the symptoms and emotional distress of disturbing life experiences. Listen in as Eileen talks with Wendy Sue about what she describes as the three essential ingredients parents need in order to attune to their child.
TAKEAWAYS: We don't come into parenthood as blank slates and our history follows us into our own parenting and relationship with our kids. Once we understand how and why this happens, it helps us (parents) make sense of our experience with a non-shaming lens. Attunement is the parent's ability to "tune in" to their child's internal, emotional experience. The parental goal is not to prevent pain for their child because this is not possible, but instead is to provide accompaniment in their pain because this is when it is less lonely, there is less suffering, and the child's resilience can shine through. There are three ingredients required for parents to attune to their child: motivation, awareness, and resources. The parent's ability to recognizing when fear is the motivation behind their behavior is essential because fear, by nature, moves the attention away from their child's experience, leaving them unable to attune to them. A parent's history of attachment and adverse experiences "show up" in the relationship with their child, which can impact the internal resources a parent has access to and may require supports to build the internal resources and resilience. Ways that EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can support parents who have kids with challenging behavioral symptoms.
RESOURCES: Wendy Sue Horn - EMDR Resource Center
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