Ep. 28 | When the World Feels Too Big: Your Child’s Window of Tolerance

SUMMARY - In Part 2 of my conversation with Robyn Gobbel, we explore how to take our understanding of the nervous system and apply it to the everyday challenges of parenting kids with big, baffling behaviors. Robyn’s owl, watchdog, and possum framework gives us a practical map for making sense of what’s happening underneath our child’s behavior, shifting our focus from trying to stop the behavior to understanding where it began and what support might help. We also talk about how this shift in perspective can change what happens in our own nervous systems, helping us stay more connected to our owl brain during difficult moments. And importantly, we explore why so much of this work begins with us as parents, and how understanding our own nervous system can help us cultivate greater self-compassion along the way.

SUMMARY - In part 1 of this 2-part podcast series, Eileen is joined by her dear friend and colleague, Robyn Gobbel, MSW. Robyn is an internationally recognized children’s mental health expert, author, and educator who has spent more than 20 years supporting children with vulnerable nervous systems and the families who care for them. She is the author of the bestselling Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work and The Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors. She is also the host of "The Baffling Behavior Show" podcast and founder of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute.

SUMMARY - Parenting a child with complex needs can put tremendous pressure on even the strongest partnerships, especially when two parents understand their child’s behavior differently. In this episode, Eileen explores how family-of-origin experiences, deeply held beliefs, fear, grief, and our own nervous systems can contribute to parenting disagreements and how bringing curiosity and a Brain First lens to our partners can help us find greater understanding and connection.

SUMMARY- Expectations are an unavoidable part of parenting, but when we’re raising a child with brain-based differences, expectations rooted in neurotypical norms can create a painful gap between what we think our child should be able to do and what they actually have the capacity to do. In this episode, I draw from Brené Brown’s Rising Strong and her exploration of disappointment, expectations, and resentment. Through a Brain First lens, we’ll consider where our expectations come from, how they influence the way we interpret our child’s behavior, and how adjusting expectations can help protect our relationship with our child without giving up on our hopes for them.

SUMMARY - Some kids can appear incredibly capable in many areas of their lives while still experiencing significant lagging cognitive skills that are largely invisible to those around them. In this episode, we explore why these kids are especially vulnerable to being misunderstood through a behavioral lens and why recognizing their asynchronous development is essential to understanding the support and accommodations they truly need.